I cant take it
Faced with choices,
Meant for men
Older and wiser than myself
I cannot take this
Life is a struggle
You have to hold on
I'm slipping
I try to write rhymes
I try to write these verse's
But nothing is good enough
Nothing is ever what they want
I keep trying but the words don't work
The rhymes off beat
Lyrics thrown away
Man this is a tough road
To a tougher business
These semantics of a life lived
Of rhymes read
I cant take it any longer
I just want to be someones number one
Author notes
Never 1st place always last
A contest entry
- Tell Me About It.... by Janetheplain.
370 points, ended May 13, 2007, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options options options by Heartbeatsxfading.
450 points, ended June 2, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by Madison Mary.
1000 points, ended September 18, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold Trophy denied!...... by whispernthedark.
780 points, ended January 22, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything =D You Want by sophia moonfairy.
600 points, ended June 25, 2008, 25 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I can definitely relate to this poem. Great expression!
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I really felt this great emotion and amazing flood I know how it feels not to be number one <3 good luck in the contest
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Great write... Thank you so much for sharing and entering the contest. Good luck. Congratulations on your prior win.
♥
whisper
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Confusing
This was rather confusing but nontheless good. Though it bugged me how you did not read the contest rules carefully.
♥ Surrender ♥ -
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i dont see how its confusing i think its pretty literal and not only that i think its pretty obvious im stating i want to be someones number one
here i'll actually waste time and break it down for you
I cant take it
(Im) Faced with choices
That_ are Meant for men
(Who) are Older and wiser then myself
I cannot take this
(My) Life is a struggle
You have to hold on
(But) I'm slipping
I try to write rhymes
I try to write these verse's
But nothing is good enough
Nothing is ever what they want
I keep trying but the words don't work
The rhymes off beat
Lyrics thrown away
Man this is a tough road
To a tougher business
These semantics of a life lived
Of rhymes read
I cant take it any longer
I just want to be someones number one
I think its spelled out pretty easily, maybe you just dont grasp creativity? idk, so maybe you shouldnt be hosting contests if you dont know what you're doing? thats just my opinion
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wonderful sentiments about the trial and tribulations....don't be sad, you can be my # 1 for I don't have a #1 either..keep penning..good luck
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CONGRATULATIONS on winning bronze! Kudos on great penmanship. Keep writing. You're always Number one with God!
Peace and love,
Petratani
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wow great poem well done xxxx
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sad
This was awesome I can feel the tension slowly building up as the poem goes on. Life IS a struggle and it isn't fair and its hard. But thats life. Don't try to constantly try to please someone because you will never suceed. You can never TRULY fufill someone needs/wants. So when you accomplish something DO IT for YOU!! Great write and good luck, Jane
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Personaly Speaking...
I like it. Your last line sealed the whole deal. It makes the whole poem click. Good luck to you.
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