Baby,
I write you this letter from my soul
You use to be the one who made me whole
But now you’ve ripped it apart
Leaving me bleeding with a broken heart
You made me realize you never tried to care
That you never even wanted me there
That I was just another step in your selfish games
You stood back and watched my heart go up in flames
You used me and no I’m left in ruined
My heart is ravished and darkened
The life I thought I had has disappeared
I’m alone again as I always feared
But this time I’m hopelessly lost
The line between dream and reality has been crossed
So I’m going to make another cut and take another drink
And write you a letter in blood, my tainted ink.
A contest entry
- E.M.O ~ PoEmS xxx && brokenrosessooooofocate by Ryno.
400 points, ended December 8, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I think the idea behind this, the letter in blood, and some of the descriptions in this really added to the intensity of this piece.
But, besides that, I found some of the images and visuals cliche and remember to keep your eye out of typos. Also, just because you describe things - doesn't mean that you have strong, creative imagery.
I felt the raw emotion in this though. Thanks for the entry. -
This was alright.... Good, yet slightly cliche... Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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The last line in this poem was probably my favorite. This is a very dark poem as Bittersweet said. It could use some work but overall nice job! good luck!
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wow - a very dark write:
So I’m going to make another cut and take another drink
And write you a letter in blood, my tainted ink.
i like that.
well done and good luck
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