Sadistically Deranged

Deep inside of everyone,
there is an inner darkness.
A cold icy chill,
that leaves you breathless,
murderous.
Abused by daddy,
failed mommy,
an excuse of a serial killer. 
Sitting here now,
legs drawn to chest,
rocking back and forth.
A ticking time bomb,
the horror in the victims eye's.
It's what makes murder fun,
the victims reaction,
the horror,
the screams,
that helpless feeling they all get,
what a twisted work of art. 
They stare with those pathetic eye's,
hoping for mercy, to be spared.
Ha, you wanna know what makes a killer powerful?
The fight, then.....the surrender.
THe power you have over them,
their eye's staring at that gleaming knife,
at that noose you've provided,
that gun in their face,
they succumb to that power.
Then, the knife is pulled,
the fear sets in, watching them sweat,
stiffling a scream.
Slowly,
putting the knife to their throat,
threateningly,
dragging it over their body,
watching their every reaction.
Their body tensing,
muscles spasing,
eye's widen in horror,
yeah, it's pathetic, BUT FEELS SO GOOD.
Feels good to be in control,
don't it.....
to take a life, to feel the blood,
to watch it pump from a writhing corpse.
You see, you don't understand,
these veins are clogged with ice,
murder is written in blood,
upon my bedroom walls.
The screams play on,
blood still draining. 
Haha, wanna know what's even better??

Being on the receiving end.....
being the victim.
Feeling that knife at your throat,
that wire, tightly asphyxiating,
that gun against your head. 
You don't know what's happening,
till it's all over.
Till your life flashes before your eye's,
you're screams cut short,
the spray of blood.
Throat slit mid-sentence,
pleading for your life,
not me.
See, as a killer,
they WANT you to plead.
They want to see fear,
it's what turns them on,
what excites them,
powers them,
feeling your warm body against theirs,
struggling in the midst of death throes. 
So here i am,
sitting in my front seat,
steering wheel in hand,
sweat dripping from my body.
My head is pulled back,
knife at my throat.
Seconds before my life is over,
so i close my eye's and pray to God.
I open my mouth and speak:
"Go ahead and slit my throat,
i'm not going to give in,
i'm not going to beg for my life,
the choice is yours.
I die, i go to a better world,
win-win situation for me.
So what's it gonna be?"
The knife is pulled,
pumping blood
windshield splattered,
cessation of my screwed up life,
escape from this darkened hell.