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.-Exposing- [too.prominent] bones.

Please wake up this morning [darling]
Its a b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l day outside.
All the [prying eyes] will be on you
/Rip/p/ing/ you apart,
Just to try and .:: figure ::. out
What is (wrong) with you.
Placing the  p i e c e s  under a
Mi cro scope,
Looking at all the
[Empty.spaces]

H
  u
      n
        g
            e
              r
hurts so .b.a.d.
Like the sadness they [caused] you,
And the nights spent /poking/ and \prodding\ at
Your arm with a |razor|,
Trying to push the :l:i:m:i:t:s:,
Saying “this doesn’t [hurt] me”
Seeing how  c l o s e  to death you really could come.
Can’t hurt yourself :anymore:
So you drown out the pain >>inside<<
With the pain  << outside >>

You say [beautiful].
Each and every pound  l o.s t
Is a step ^u^p^ towards becoming /gor/g/e/ous/.
Its only one more necessity to become
A symbol of .:: perfection ::.
Like the girl that boys  d r e a m  of at night
A girl who sacrificed her /im/p\e|rf\e/ct\ self
So they would imagine her as
Beauty : Jealousy : Perfection
But truthfully,
Inside all you are is a
.L.i.e.

You are willing to give up  e v e r y t h i n g
To .i.n.s.a.n.i.t.y,
Making yourself go *insane* while
You transform [outside] into a lovely
|Ski|nny|
Wall of fake personalities // wrong ideas.
And you keep thinking e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g is
[Alright]
When you are _dying_
Hunger d
                r
                  o
              w
        n
            i
              n
                g
Out any form of
[Common.sense] and [understanding]
Molding .reality. into .dreams.

Feeling your chest move .u.p. and .d.o.w.n.
While sleeping,
-Exposing- [too.prominent] bones,
Is like a sigh a  r e l i e f.
You know you have [reached] your /goal\,
Of being a set of “white lies”,
And false “beauty”.

Author notes

"Pink bows, Pretty words, and pixie sticks"

lovely darling.

this one was written when I used a lot of punc. so please bear with me.

I thought this was cliche enough...

A contest entry

Written for a contest. Can you tell this is about eating disorders?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Ntagatf
    January 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i like it because i can relate, but i'm trying to see how it goes into thinspiration... i think your pulling against it in this. but i do love the write! Its great and it shows such emotions and it has a twist where its the up sides then the down falls. but thank you for entering my contest and i wanna wish you the best of luck. Keep up the good work!!!


  • danceswsquirrels
    October 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    4/4/5/5
    =
    4.5

    Thanks so much for entering!! this was sooooo amazing! your imagery blew my mind!


    J~~~


  • Griswold silver member
    May 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this was cool, I guess i see what Dirrty Pretty is in this poem. I dont know that I can emulate it, Im a bit more traditional, but I will try anything once...Heh...Scott


  • KittieLyyn
    May 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    woah...amazing loved these lines..

    You say [beautiful].
    Each and every pound l o.s t
    Is a step ^u^p^ towards becoming /gor/g/e/ous/.
    Its only one more necessity to become
    A symbol of .:: perfection ::.
    Like the girl that boys d r e a m of at night
    A girl who sacrificed her /im/p\e|rf\e/ct\ self
    So they would imagine her as
    Beauty : Jealousy : Perfection
    But truthfully,
    Inside all you are is a
    .L.i.e.

    amazing good luck!


  • Aquamarine.
    May 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is good.....good luck in the contest


  • Atrophya
    May 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i love this, it fucking rocks!! =]


  • Takunaki
    May 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I LOVE this piece. Very impressive. I really enjoyed reading this. and yes you can tell it's about eating disorders. You did a fine job getting that point across. I liked how you set this up with some words bracketted and others in "falling" text. It really added to the mood of the piece. Very fine job. Keep up the great work =]


  • ValerieValyce
    May 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This was amazing....And so true....To me...it expresses everything I think....


  • littlegirlapril
    May 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I can tell this is about eating disorders.
    And whoa my god to I love it!! :]
    Honestly
    I'm called you changed your tags because then
    I would have never seen this!
    Wow! Beautiful!!!

    [[ZombiNa]] ♥

  • XweXareXbrokenX
    May 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    amazing sarah...its beautiful and the flow was absolutely wonderful...i loved it...im actuall going to bookmark this one because thats how good i think it is...bravo my friend and goo luck in the contest!

    AnDrEa &hearts

1 - 10 of 10