doctor! doctor!
you reached for the womb
and pulled out a baby,
but I reached for the ruddy-eyed moon
and pulled out a dream.
doctor! doctor!
i'm not like little boys
that carry silence on strings,
little girls that curl their tongues
around peach pits
and stray sprouts of oleander
right before their colic recedes -
o-no!
i'm the little girl
that watches boys play
((they play with watches to
alter time, to fail))
and laughs with a mittened hand
swims through ice and screams upstream
o-my-lord-no!
let's swim behind the sun
scream aside the underground sky
Author notes
Author name // narcissus at oasis
--
That came out of nowhere...!
((Entry for Teen Idol competition))
"shizuku"
A contest entry
- Teen Idol 5: Final Auditions (Invite Only) by Tangled Angle.
300 points, ended May 6, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
...
Comments
-
wow this piece once again blows me away. the strongest part is
"little girls that curl their tongues
around peach pits
and stray sprouts of oleander"
i have no critique for you, once again. you are an amazing poet. -
Is this what I think it means?
Is this a pun? lol
[ok if not then just ignore that]
I liked this. It was upfront, in your face, at the same time has a mystery to it, and I like it. I am left in wonder, yet I still have the literal meanings to base it out of, and even with just that it was profound.
Could have had some more imagery... but other than that this was good, and original among the other entries.
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