It's really unique now, at how the wind can shift directions
just like my life up to now. So many things to speak, yet, not
enough words in an encyclopedia to phrase it all but somehow
this mere face still managed to keep hidden the truest form of
self defining
The many variables of entourage emotions crippled the stone walls,
or the very actuality of long lived dreams becoming an uneasy
crutch just to acknowledge [her] grasp of reality still exist
Unopened books lying by the wayside, while the eyes, themselves,
shiver in the far corner with fear of the unknown; guarded surroundings
only try their best to smother what remaining structures to actually
call 'home' underneath the Maple and Oak trees.
Now that I've looked back, I do wished I would've learned how
to swim so in the future, the body can drown itself looking up
at the azure sky
In a list
A contest entry
- Invite Only Round One by Kari.
475 points, ended May 7, 2007, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Your confessional prose are becoming more and more varied. It seems to me that you're feeling very attune to all aspects of your life lately and truly showing your diversity to bring the past to paper with sincere retrospection. The only thing that stuck out to me in this piece is the overuse of the word "now" but then again, your focus is on what happened 'then' affecting you 'now' so maybe that is a necessary usage. Nevertheless, the ending line was very potent and leaves the reader feeling you've found your sense of direction. Great work, my friend!
~Lori
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Yes, that last line was a real barn burner - brought the house down! So deep and regretful, almost melancholic at the end. So much like prose, but then just my impression.
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Absolutely Magnificent and the last line was the most splendid...love this, deep, meaningful...good luck!
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This is absolutely beautiful... it was deep and had great flow... I liked it a lot! Great write! Rock on! xoxo Meg
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Interesting piece to be certain, a gentle yet deep thought with a sing song tone to it, although I am not a fan of this form, it is simply preference. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e
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hmmmm, you know as i read this i became at a lose of words this is something really, keep it flowing
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This is really creative, and I enjoyed how these were just thoughts. The ending is done really good too and sums it up. Nice work. ~
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thank you
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