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Buried Alive

Missing image

Buried Alive

My carriage hit a stone; the horse had reared and neighed.
I lie here scared and all alone; I know I should have stayed.
It happened O so quick; I was leaving her majesty’s ball.
The devil’s walking stick; as I am confined here in his thrall.

I lie here scared and all alone; I know I should have stayed.
Took leave from her majesty’s throne; and now the price is paid
The last thing I remember as the carriage took its spill;
Was the glowing ember… of the prince’s stately thrill.

Took leave from her majesty’s throne; and now the price is paid.
My fingers bloodied to the bone and my senses dimly fade.
Confined within this tiny box; breeds the horror of no escape.
A blackened dungeon without locks, the lid my nails did scrape.

The last thing I remember as the carriage took its spill;
It happened O so quick; I was leaving her majesty’s ball.
Was the glowing ember… of the prince’s stately thrill.
My carriage hit a stone; the horse had reared and neighed.

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Pantoum with internal rhyme

The Pantoum
The Pantoum is a simpler yet more difficult poem than the sestina. It is far more repetitive, for its defining rules are ABAB or AABB stanzas of four lines each, and the second and fourth lines of one stanza become the first and third of the next. It can be any number of stanzas long, but the ending line must be the same as the first. The result is a poem that takes two steps forward and one step back the entire way through, finally ending on the same note it started.

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • XLadyElinorX
    December 2, 2008

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    oh. my. I love this. How do you do it? The story is fascinating and thrilling, and the repeated lines all flow so well. . . Excellent, I do think, poet.


  • jcat gold member
    November 7, 2007

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    another very well penned poem from you... I really love the era you conveyed in this piece too.. Thank you for this one as well with me... again, food for thought!!!


  • slayenemy909
    September 21, 2007

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    Good Effort

    It is an interesting style you chose for this poem. I admire your willingness to branch out into different forms of poetry, but I am afraid this is not the kind of poem I was looking for.. I wanted something more personal.. about yourself and dark desires.. morbid thoughts.. and lusty urges that came from within you.. about your life... hence the title.. self-disection.. it's supposed to be a look inward at an inner beast.


  • Swan song gold member
    May 13, 2007

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    Another very intersting form. Seems this could be sung and if I remember right many of these were in old days
    do you like horses?

  • JM Kenyon silver member
    May 8, 2007

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    A very well written pantoum, I like this form for the challenge of making the refrain lines flow into the poem, without it seeming too repititious. You did a nice job on that. Great flow to this write.

    s and best wishes always... ~Genie~

    Note: Due to high volume of entries, I'll be using a scoring system to judge after the contest closes.


  • sunny day
    May 5, 2007

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    Amera, This is a very challenging form indeed and quite a dark poem you have penned for this contest. The imagery is fantastic as your words flowed effortlessly from the page to my mind's eye. I have never tried a pantoum and I'm sure I will one of these days. I only hope mine will be half as wonderful as this one was. I want to thank you for sharing with all of us and wish you the best in the contest. Love and God bless you my friend, Joyce


  • painfully amazing
    May 4, 2007
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    wow...i like..hahaha great write..u are an amazing writer..its crazy=]...

    nooreo


  • macandrew
    May 3, 2007

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    Beautifully written. Been a long time since I have written one of these. Yours is a pleasure to read.

    John


  • anguish
    May 3, 2007

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    very good, much in debt for having been allowed to read such a peice. good luck in the contest, Anguish


  • takenfromgrace
    May 2, 2007
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    Wow this is ver dark and good. There's so much to it.


  • Aeonna
    April 30, 2007

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    wow

    this is freakin' awesome, very dark and spooky. i can see the imagery as being buried alive... a dark masterpiece, dark poetess


    red roses


  • Desire gold member
    April 29, 2007

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    Wow!!

    Powerful piece penned my Friend and what images You have brought to bring chills~
    Twitches
    Love the form You used with the internal rhyme~
    Very clever
    Loved this one!!

    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • silentheartbreak
    April 28, 2007

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    oh

    my goodness. Amazing! Moving! It's intense and I love the format. It makes me feel something. Really feel. Scared almost.. can't explain it. This poem has meaning... but I do have to say- that picture on the top is going to give me nighmares


  • JohnnyD gold member
    April 28, 2007

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    Amera,

    A very interesting and darkly write gal! I could instantly tell it was not you in the coffin as she is not pretty enough.

    Sweet write for a moonless night


    Dad


  • PerVirtuous
    April 28, 2007

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    *sigh* I'm going to find that prince and cute his... this is a very powerful write. You seem to have a knack for these types. No wonder your page is filling up with trophies. I see by the picture you lost both legs at the knee... so sad. I give you three bunnies. Maybe you can make a little bunny powered chariot to get you around.


  • jo-el
    April 28, 2007

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    i like this form...repetition in my opinion layers the thought giving it strength...kinda the same way a diamond is formed...layers of pressure. 3rd stanza captures the desparation frighteningly. beautifully done...excellent write


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    April 28, 2007

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    Wow! This is awesome. It is a really dark and chilling write. The picture and background adds even more darkness to the write. Very well done. Good luck in the contest.

    Jeannie

1 - 18 of 18