A *b*l*a*n*k*e*t of
b.l.a.c.k.e.n.e.d-blue
midnight violets
l-a-y beneath
your STRONG, (fragile)
"quivering" thighs
moonlight $hines,
r e f l e c t e d in your
drenched eyes
Loudly you m-o-a-n,
as I plunge -->
my /thrusting/ tongue
into the deep chasm
of (dark),
bitten, plum
colored skin.
Soon you awaken,
!devastating! you
with the "realization,"
that it wasn't
-just- your (100%)^virginity^
I had taken
Author notes
x.one last fix.x
A contest entry
- && all i want is... your best on the spot dirty pretty by over the rainbow--x.
525 points, ended May 10, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - darlings, it's devasting: D IRTY P RETTY by spine.
378 points, ended May 10, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - enter all your dp writes! ****prewritesallowed by thelovesongwriter.
500 points, ended July 22, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think, this is my first dirty-pretty i'm not sure how it's supposed to look...
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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cooL! vampires!! great & creative poem. good luck & thanks for entering
-
moonlight $hines,
r e f l e c t e d in your
drenched eyes
Loudly you m-o-a-n,
as I plunge -->
my /thrusting/ tongue
into the deep chasm
of (dark),
bitten, plum
colored skin.
i Love this,you did such a good job!keep writing!
-R.A.* -
' Soon you awaken,
!devastating! you
with the "realization,"
that it wasn't
-just- your (100%)^virginity^
I had taken '
love this last stanza, but could you please re-read the rules as you have not put a phrase into your authors notes =] thanks =] great poem ♥ -
this is reallly amazing...I think you did a wonderful job...I like the imagry you used and I LOVED yourlast stanza ((it was amazing)) this is pretty sexi I liked it...Great write!!!!
AShlee -
Okay, I'm really not trying to be fecetious or anything, but what IS dirty pretty? I mean, what's the point of all the punctuation? I realize that a lot of it has to do with free form poetry, and I get that, but some of the punctuation makes sense to me, like your "b*l*a*n*k*e*t" line. Others, I just don't understand why it's there. Sometimes, it feels to me like it's just for looks, but serves no real poetic purpose. I can make sense of yours a lot more than most others I read, which suggests you actually take time to consider why you place the punctuation where it is, and I deeply respect that. Your third stanza was beautiful, and the last two lines almost made me wince with the honesty of it. This was a good poem, regardless of punctuation, and I'm working to understand it, so I appreciate you letting me vomit at the mouth here a bit. lo
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okay...this is way too hot for this early in the morning... I haven't even had my coffee yet and I still have morning breath, and the dog wants out and my husband just went to work, and I think I need to pee, but don't wanna.
Anyway, it is too early... but this IS very sexy and twisted. So you did a great job on that. Write on, poet.
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