Grief stricken and heart broken I have been
too many times over, my soul has been crushed.
Many roads of happiness I have walked,
that now bring sadness everywhere I turn,
all the beautiful places and faces I have seen.
My mind is like a slide show,
with things I remember the most.
Passion, love and the memories I don't want,
muddled are the things I once knew,
and the things I no longer want to know.
I keep trying to comprehend,
why so many I have ever loved,
many kisses, laughter and embraces.
Slowly faded, never to feel again,
never to see so many smiles, so many friends.
Car accidents, suicide, murder, too much pain.
Those days of darkness, the sun never rose
those days of feeling numb, nothingness, torn apart.
Tears I have tried hard to cry, images rushing into my mind.
The emotions I have felt twenty times over and over again.
As darkness falls upon your day,
body loosing all feeling and legs can not hold.
Trying hard to speak but the words are muted by tears.
You close your eyes and see his face, her face;
So many things you wish you said before they went away.
At night I do not sleep, my dreams fear my memories.
My heart can no longer take a silent goodbye.
I fear being awoken in the middle of the night.
I can not take one more day in deaths meadows.
Dreams are now my minds darkest enemies.
My soul is willing and wanting to be free.
My heart can not bare one more piece taken.
It would not have to face another vacant day.
It will not see another day in the shadows,
everyone I have lost will again be a part of me.
Author notes
Prompt #3
Grief languishes for things lost in which desire had taken delight, because it wills to have nothing taken from it..." -St. Augustine from his book Confessions, Book 2, chapter 6
This is a very personal poem for me.. I have lost 20 poeple close to me year after year I go to funerals, something I'll never get used to.
A contest entry
- 3 PROMPTS You Won't Wanna Miss!!!!! Hot Diggety Dog! by Rianna Bear.
600 points, ended May 3, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heartbreak to the extreme by Leech Lover.
450 points, ended June 1, 2007, 80 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - biggest contest in allpoetry history! (i hope) need 1,000 entries!! by Gasp.
1300 points, ended July 11, 2007, 649 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Gold" this time by Virgoan.
550 points, ended June 6, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Deep Dark Thoughts by FleetingImage.
330 points, ended August 11, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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great write i loved the title
reading this poem was like reliving my own dreams
i loved reading this...good luck -
Great work! The images are well weave with darkness and severity.
My favorite lines:
My soul is willing and wanting to be free.
My heart can not bare one more piece taken.
It would not have to face another vacant day.
It will not see another day in the shadows,
everyone I have lost will again be a part of me.
Powerful conclusions on this piece.
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing my friend.
~VIRGOAN~
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This is marvelous work! I love the imagery you use in this piece, as well the emotions that run wild throughout the words. I love poems that make me feel the sadness and the pain that I haven't felt myself yet; that's the best kind of poetry if you ask me.
"At night I do not sleep, my dreams fear my memories.
My heart can no longer take a silent goodbye.
I fear being awoken in the middle of the night.
I can not take one more day in deaths meadows.
Dreams are now my minds darkest enemies."
I especially loved that stanza, as it shows how a person can be afraid of himself/herself. Dreams being from our own subconsciousness, those words seem to speak how afraid of people can be of themselves and the things they build while sleeping.
This is such a marvelous poem; thank you for sharing it
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This is great and insightful-- a nice read.
However, re-read the rules and add what's missing; I might have to disqualify you otherwise.
Thanks for your entry -
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I did read the rules the promts and options are in my authors notes and have been there since submitting this poem to your contest.
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GREAT
This was very well thought out! Nice job and congrats on Silver! -
Nicely done
very very good. nice emagination, and good detail. Keep up the good work. For this poem too, it was a deep feeling and I found myself endlessly believing it, feeling it too.
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thank you, so much for your comment..
peace, love and light always
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A display of pure poetic talent. This is a phenomenal poem. You've captured the essence of grief in a very real way, this overflows with deep emotion. Congratulations on the silver, it's well deserved.
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well written well done congrats on silver
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this was a really great sad/dark write. You got very emotional and expressive with this one, that i feel as though you really reached deep into that prompt. I really liked the lines:
I can not take one more day in deaths meadows.
Dreams are now my minds darkest enemies.
it just stuck out to me so much. thanks so much for your entry!
Rianna -
I wonder if the punctuation is necessary in this piece, since you have line breaks where it occurs, and the line breaks denote the pause well enough without the punctuation added. It might actually flow even better without it, though I can definitely read that strong meter with or without it, so it's mostly a matter of preference. The last stanza was particularly touching.
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wow, a very emotional and down to earth poem, i hope it isnt true, i felt every emotion that was so vivily put into this poem, i loved how it conveyed it
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wow... that was amazing. i have felt exactly like this. so much death and sorrow has enshrouded my life. excellent poem. just amazing. such depth and feel to it!
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A poetic masterpiece.... but filled with such sadness the reality of life..... the grief the pain, sooo much is expressed, oozing with emotion.....
well written
Tracey
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wow!!!
thats deep. it screams emotion, and holds truth, there's something about this poem that makes me reflect back to my life, and think. everyone has times like this.
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