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~ Timbered Soul ~

*

One

more day

many dreams

of someones past

dies

~

~

My

wooden

shanks decay

and their mem'ries

lost

~

~

On

top sets

sheets of rust

from rains crying

tears

~

~

Old

graveled

road covered

by pavement laid

new

~

~

So

many

gatherings

of thanksgiving

gone

~

~

Ten

children

birthed within

these walls of red

oak

~

~

Not

one has

returned with

desires or thoughts

past

~

~

Now

time shall

befriend years

preserved through

pain

~

~

You

may peer

between this

old cracked timbered

soul

~

~

Let

your eyes

search the light

which hides darkened

lies

~

~

Has

my worst

fears of lost

Life come true this

time

*

Author notes

A

 * Lanturne String*

 

Syllable count:

 

1-2-3-4-1

1-2-3-4-1

1-2-3-4-1

1-2-3-4-1

1-2-3-4-1

1-2-3-4-1

1-2-3-4-1

1-2-3-4-1

1-2-3-4-1

1-2-3-4-1

1-2-3-4-1

 

Image by Shauni Semler @ deviantART.com

 

 

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • grannyeri gold member
    March 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a lovely form and you have played it to the max. Great gold as well. Wonderful way of presenting this- great form and story told in these forms.


  • ButterflyforChrist
    May 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.. that's amazing! And beautiful. Very powerful, vivid and most wonderful! I love it. I'll try one of these soon.


  • -Ink Artist-
    May 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Truly a poignant and powerful poetic story told within these lines. Just gorgeous in presentation and prolific in design of thought. (I noticed in the 9th stanza, line 3 seems to have an extra syllable, nothing a quick edit can't fix.) Absolutely lovely lanturne string with incredibly sensory imagery throughout, vivid and compelling. A most wonderful work! Thanks for your entry!


    ~Lori


    • Arkbear gold member
      May 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      My Sweet Sis, Lori ~

      Thank you for catching that one syllable ~

      Your review is most gentle & kind ~

      9th stanza is edited ~

      I hope this finds you well today and wearing a upon your face ~

      Brother Bear ~


  • perdisbeaute
    April 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Simply beautiful!! I love every line, it's deep and moving. Very capturing in every word!!!
    Bravo Bear!

    Michelle


  • Frozentearz
    April 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Man this is deep but then again no surprise there for it would not be one of your poems if it did not run the depths of the soul.
    As always great penning,
    Love and Light
    Tearz

    • Arkbear gold member
      April 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      My Dear Tearz ~

      You shine great warmth upon my heart as I read your review ~

      I hope this day finds you well and wearing a upon your face today ~

      Be good now ~



      Bear ~


  • FisherCat
    April 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!!!!! What A Read!

    This was an amazing read Brother Bear. This whole read was just simply beautiful. from the picture of the old barn, to your style of writing! This was just simply a beautiful read. I throughly enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing this magnificant masterpiece with us. Best of luck in the contest. Keep your pen flowing.

    Love,

    Brother Cat


  • Desire gold member
    April 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Holy Momma!!

    Powerful piece Sweet One for I wanted to cry after reading this~
    Call me sensitive but Your words Touched!
    Beautiful lanturne string~which You are so
    darn good at
    This one grabbed and brought forth images!!
    Thank You for sharing this with us Brother Bear!
    Form King

    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Sissy Desire~*~

    • Arkbear gold member
      April 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      My Dearest Sis, Desire ~

      I have been sooo busy with everything going on around the house that I haven't even had time to review the poem with the windmill in it !



      Can you send me the link when ever you get the chance?

      I am not really supposed to be on right now because my hubby needs help with the tile in the kitchen

      ...and we have 2 other guys doing the tile work in the master bedroom and bath...so pretty busy days lately....but I really want to keep up on your poetry..but you write them soooo quickly that it seems impossible!!!!!!!

      I just wanted you to know that I think about you always and wish I had the time to read EVERY single poem you write ~

      ennovy and Finding Fate and so many others are just too quick for me and I feel bad when y'all find the time to read mine, and I can't get the time to sit and relax enough to review y'alls ~

      I do good lately just to get into a contest as of late ~

      You are soooo much appreciated!!



      Brother Bear ~

      • Desire gold member
        April 29, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        Holy Moly
        You take care of that tile and no biggies on the reads...
        You have till eternity to read them


        The ones I have submitted are for Challenges and so I have written more than a few lately

        You just read when You can~
        I would say...heck when You are in the bathroom..
        forget the newspaper but then that would be the most ridiculous thing for sissy to say

        Love You bunches Brother Bear and You just tile
        and have FUN!!!
        whistle while You work


        and much love~ Sissy Desire~*~

        • Arkbear gold member
          April 29, 2007
          Edit | Reply

          Thank you Sissy ~

          Whistling as we speak ~

          Hubby just stuck his head in the office and asked....Are you finished yet with your morning medication of AP?



          Chat soon Dear ~

          John ~

          • Desire gold member
            April 29, 2007
            Edit | Reply
            Oh he is funny
            Morning medication...never thought of it that way~
            makes for a good poem title

            Connect with You later gator
            and much love~ Sissy Desire~*~


  • StarEyes
    April 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    My dearest Uncle,

    Ok, would you just quit!!!! All these forms are wonderful and I am just getting to the rictameter down. and you keep doing others!!!!! LOL

    What a great read this one is! I love this! You did an awesome job on this one!!! But that is nothing new for you! Best of luck in this contest!!!


    Loves Ya

    Nyetta


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    April 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome writing, Brother bear! Very well done! I have to agree with Jeannie; you ARE becoming the form master
    All the best to you!


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    April 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow!! I am gonna start callin you the Form Masterbear! You are awesome. Well written producing wonderful imagery and thoughts. Good luck in the contest.

    Jeannie

    • Arkbear gold member
      April 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Jeannie ~

      Thank you for your presence and the wonderful review ~

      I am humbled

      You caught me as I was heading out the door to drive up north to my boyfriends ~

      I wish you a beautiful day and a safe weekend ~

      WML,

      Bear ~

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