Walking through the fields of thoughts,
I harvest new ideas.
Discussing with myself,
Which are good, which are bad
Things seem all right.
The crops of my mind are organised.
But there, on the horizon,
There lies a new future.
Beyond the horizon you arrive,
Causing havoc in my mind.
Running amok, whirling like a whirlwind.
Disturbing my thoughts and making a mess of my mind.
During summer you came like winter,
Unexpected, yet not unwanted.
At first the chaos was a bless,
It gave a new purpose to my life,
A new challenge.
But now, when there seems no end to this chaos,
While you are still whirling round in my mind,
No intention of helping me order my thoughts.
No way to find the eye of the storm,
Will it ever end?
Do I want it to end?
While thinking of this, wondering if I want it to stop or not,
You suddenly stop blowing,
Though peace has not yet returned.
My feelings cannot accept that you are gone.
My body is missing something.
The 2 hearts that were pounding together in my body
They are torn apart, leaving emptiness behind.
My mind still cannot believe,
Does not want to believe.
But my instinct tells me to go on,
To pick up the pieces you left behind.
Clear up the mess and store the memories.
I am not able to let go of you.
Not wanting to let you leave my mind.
Will I ever realise,
That you already left me alone?
Today I read your last breeze of words..
You went your own way,
I should go mine.
What I was afraid of happened.
You say we weren't meant for each other
But why does it feel like we would?
Your air brushes through my head,
Bring even more chaos,
Saying I do not fit into your life anymore.
I wish you well,
I wish thee fare-thee-well.
Though you tell me not to contact to you again,
I hope we may see each other once again.
Please come in winter,
And warm my heart like summer.
Author notes
This was an entry for the contest:
Past Memories by SilverxXxShadow
Posted on Jul 16, 2003. Categories: Other, Personal. Critical.
250 points. Ending on Jul 24, 2003 (Closed)
:::
Write a poem about a memory out of your past...any memory I just want lots of emotion.....
------------
Long poem, trying to express my feelings.
In short it is about a beloved one of mine. Shared a lot of thoughts together, talking, thinking, reading.
After a weekend it was silent. Heard nothing. Unfortunately on 15februari I could finish the poem with the last 2 strophes.
And thus it is dedicated to Gwen -IGD- McLaren (which is not her real name, but more of a nickname of hers).
Song that also resembles my feelings on this subject/poem is: Enya's "Anywhere Is"
I've also translated this poem to Dutch, "Wervelende Gedachten - Bries van Stilte"
Written February 15th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Your best prewrite by glazecovered.
300 points, ended February 23, 2004, 274 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How did this poem make you feel? What images did it bring to mind?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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only few words...I love when poems make me touched....
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loved it
"But now, when there seems no end to this chaos,
While you are still whirling round in my mind,
No intention of helping me order my thoughts.
No way to find the eye of the storm,
Will it ever end?
Do I want it to end?
While thinking of this, wondering if I want it to stop or not,
You suddenly stop blowing,
Though peace has not yet returned.
My feelings cannot accept that you are gone.
My body is missing something.
The 2 hearts that were pounding together in my body
They are torn apart, leaving emptiness behind."
alright, so really i'd just love to copy the whole poem in here, but that wouldn't make much sense now would it ...
those two stanzas/paragraphs .. whatever you'd like to call them personally (haha) stood out to me the most. i love this so much. it's absolutely beautiful, you're such a gifter writer and express yourself through words in ways i could never imagine. i also love how you twisted a metaphorical way into this piece and used alot of symbolism. great job .. DAMNIT i new i shouldn't of used that last applaud
just know that i am still clapping! thank you so much for the read, it was magnificent. i very much relate with this .. but i guess you know that, you've read some of my poems ... once again, amazing!
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Wow, I was really impressed by this piece. I often feel trapped in rhyming patterns and feel that good poems have to rhyme, but i have been proven wrong once again. I loved the story it told and the saddness conveyed of someone coming into your life so fast and then leaving the same way. In one way or another, I think we can all relate to that.
I really enjoyed reading it.
Thanx
-Mimi
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Yes...very emotional...in this world full of mushy love poems and sad love-angst poems, this really stands out, and you get brownie points for that. This is excellent, and on my little piece of paper with notes for this contest I marked it "E" for excellent. Feel special. =)
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
~Anastasia -
Extra Notes for the "Your Best PreWrite"-contest:
This poem describes a very special part of my life.
for me it graps the essence of my soul, of the feelings I had back then.
I never put so much emotion into a poem... Also the comments I received on it here and elsewhere showed me it was very touching to others as well... -
very gooooood. lots of thought and meaning and purpose in this poem. its message is clear and perfect. very emotional yet plain, which is good. like it alot. peace
nightmare -
My mind still cannot believe,
Wow this a truly beautiful poem I perticularly love this stanza:
Does not want to believe.
But my instinct tells me to go on,
To pick up the pieces you left behind.
Clear up the mess and store the memories.
You have a a girft with words and express yourself amazingly I have a paper that I must be writing now but as soon as I'm done I'm comming back to read more of your poems
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you find those words of love that touch within that breeze...
yes I hear your voice clearly... shared only by your heart!
I did enjoy!
Keep penning on!
Bill -
It is a bit long, but filled with so much emotion. I liked it. The words you used were so powerful and your feelings seemed to show through them very well. You had many great lines in this piece. Thank you for entering my contest...good luck.
~Shadow -
An Tearful write
I am not ashamed to say this, but this poem almost made me cry. It is full of emotion, the words that you use to descibe this person leave me feeling as if I am you. Your talent is shown in this poem, with such great lines as 'During summer you came like winter, Unexpected, yet not unwanted.' or 'Today I read your last breeze of words.. ' These lines I liked the most, but the others in the poem are just as strong and from the heart. Thank you for sharing this great poem, it is rare to see such talent as yours
Steve
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