I burn the cigars
hoping
the aweful stench
would cease rising
from within
to my agonising throat.
I shield my eyes
with tears
since I cannot witness
the mishappening
that my wrists have borne.
I am sliding from a transition
into a hallucination
where my mind fogs with brevity
which slides here & there
finally coming back to me
in the form of craving pain.
For once,
the crimson shades of pain
seem pleasing to my crampy eyes.
I am not opening them again.
I loathe myself bleeding
not because it hurts
but it reminds me of the reason
why I stripped my wrists.
It makes me realise
that for a moment
my senses flared with fury
which I refuse to
present to you
with decorative packages.
That is the reason
all doors are ~shut~
so tightly
it will never break.
I am swimming subtly
in the pool of blood
but I cannot feel anything
except the stinging response
of my sense which
again and again
keep failing my reality.
Author notes
Self-Abuse
A contest entry
- Abuse, Death, Pain by psychomonkey.
550 points, ended October 29, 146 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Very well written. This write was very beautiful in such a sad way, you did great at showing your pain and despair. Cutting is something that i struggle with and have struggled with for about five years and i know what it is to ache and long for the blade, but for me it is something that i don't do anymore not because I'm over what makes me want to or even that i don't somehow enjoy it but because i've been to where it can lead and i know cutters think that others are crazy for being concerned about them cutting but it is a sign that there is something bothering you enough to make you want to do those things to yourself...sorry Im like lecturing huh....well anyways i really loved this poem because i could relate to it so much. I think this is one of my favorites in the contest so far
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Great write! Nice flow and you know what spell check is! The last stanza is what speaks to me most. Probably because i've been stuck in this thought. The cuts took away most of my emotion, but when it was over, it was only a reminder of why i started. I failed myself for even doing it in the first place. Thanks for entering and good luck!
~Tiff -
i liked this
it was sorta sad to me
thats probably why your authors notes have the bit about emotions in them
The imagery in this piece was very well done
and you had a great choice of words
thanks so much for sharing
good luck in the contest!!
:]
♥ -
nice
liked the darkness about the pool
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I loved this. I love the imagery, the way you can see everything played out in your head and at the same time, you cant because there is this perfect amount of mystery to your words. i loevd the second to last stanza, the way it short and right to the point, it really stood out to me
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very nice and interesting, especially the part about 'craving pain' i've been addicted to pain for quite a while, but nice entry
TY for entering and good luck -
cutting may seem a senseless way to ease pain but it isnot. cutting is something that helps so much and i know this. no matter how bad I want to do it but my mom says if i do shes taking me to a therapist who will probably put me in a nut house. anywho great job
-scarlet dame
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This was really good. It went over the line limit - But it was good enough tha I didn't notice or mind so it didn't count against you. I really enjoyed this piece and I felt that I could relate to it. Great job and goodluck.
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Thanks..I am sorry I got so involved in writing that I didnt remember about the line rule...
Thanks
preets
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this is a relaly good write and best of luck to you in your contest. the only thing i have to say is that line 24 kind of confused me. i re-read it a few times and maybe its just split in a different way than how i was reading. other than that i love the poem and the emotion. again, good luck to you!
~bee
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oops!! The sentence was wrong...it had to be my anger cannot instead of I am anger cannot...ouch!! Sounds funny
Thanks for pointing out!!!
preets
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