When I bleed turn your back.
I don’t want you to see
The dance floor soaked with blood.
Life; as it ebbs from me.
I want to leave this earth in peace.
And leave no one upset.
Don’t think you could have fixed it.
Don’t have one small regret.
The pain I felt was awesome.
It was just too much to bear.
And the blood that pours would be as red
Without you standing there.
To change one single moment,
Would not have made me see the light.
It is agony to be here.
And leaving is my right.
I would have left here sooner,
If you hadn’t come along.
You brought a moments peace,
As you softly sang my song.
So, when I bleed turn your back.
I don’t want you to see.
The dance floor soaked with blood.
Life; as it ebbs from me.
Author notes
I wrote this several years ago to say goodbye. It's one of several, but I can't find the others that I think are better.
Written July 2nd, 2001
In a list
A contest entry
- ~*sUICIDE tEMPTATIONS*~ by .
300 points, ended July 23, 2003, 69 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
I... Am.. Impressed..
Remarkable... Maybe it's not true.. Maybe it is.. Sounds like words you might whisper from beyond or a suicide note that might be found lying in the pool of blood as it lays next to your lifeless body.. Very nicely done.. -
sniff, don't say goodbye. say hello. i hate goodbye. how about, see you later. that is more hopeful. it means, i'm not gonna see you right now, but i will in a little while. yes, this poem definitely fit the bill they were asking for in the contest. and it was wrenching. the first stanza (and last haha) was brilliant, and to repeat it was even that much more the brilliant on your part.
-
Excellent write......I am glad you kept it and never used it......
It is sad though that we as human beings feel that there is no other way......I have been there and I have my goodbye letters too.
I just don't know if there is any true reason to take ones own life.......even though as you put......it is their right......I really liked this....very depthful, painful, emotionally and the flow was great as well.......thanks for comment on Roulette~~The Torpedo and Revolver........surely a different write for myself but none the less I think it turned out cool.....lisa anne -
wow, what you have here is a great piece of work. love that cpncept you use, and as allways, the flow is perfect, great write
-
Excellent work again from an excellent poet. This is really graphic in its own intensity. Brings home the feeling of wanting it all to end yet still some hope of life deep down hence the thoughts of endng others misery by suggesting no guilty feelings for them afterwards. very very powerful and raw. strangely beautiful....does that sound perverse? hope not and you will get my drift. take care, keep up the good work.
-
This poem is really painful to read.. Saying goodbye to the world and knowing that your friends can't do anything to make the pain go away.. Knowing that they can't change and make you see the light.. wow.. This is really good.. Good luck in this contest if it hasn't ended yet. lol. ^^
º·.Wishing-Blue.·º
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
1 old applause
