I think no one shall ever see
the hickey that you left on me
A hickey that you hungrily pressed
upon my firm sweet milky breast
A hickey I must hide all day
because you swore to make me pay
A hickey that I’d never dare
with even my best friend to share
from my white bosom it must wane
ere I am intimate again
this hickey means the death of me
if God should let my husband see
Patricia Gibson-Little
July 21, 2003
Author notes
It's late and I haven't been sleeping well, so this may not be any good. But it seems really funny right now.
Written July 22nd, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- D D by Balladeer.
300 points, ended July 26, 2003, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Still funny as hell
AngelSeeker, hope you weren't all discouraged cause of my "annabell lee" assumption. I'm just not that well versed and that's what it sounded like to me for some reason, though now that I think about it Trees is a more closely matched poem.. I was just guessing off the top of my head. This is more like Trees than Poe's one..
My lack of intelligence not your poor writing!
Kali -
lol.........
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I thought this was very funny too. LOL
Great rhyme and meter.. and I always used to say hickies should NEVER show..but...LOl if your husband is gonna see.. ooh hun...you best be really careful. LOL
Great write..:)
My best..
Mary Ann -
8 out of 10
eh heh eh..........that cant be good -
HA! The last two lines. Truly funny.
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HaHA!!, this was great, hickey's, not the thing
you want your husband to keep abreast of!!!
I bid you leaverage,
thinking about your cleaverage.
RR -
Very cute! Good meter, good rhyme and a surprise ending. What more could anyone ask for? (except maybe to NOT have a hickey?)
Good job! -
It can be tricky
To write of a hickey
So happy to see that you tried one.
Hopefully you
Won't experience it, too,
It can take the devil to hide one!!
You done good! -
Thanks everyone for the comments. Did I miss by that much Kalifornia? It's Trees - Joyce Kilmer
I think that I shall never see
a poem lovely as a tree
Thank God I've never actually been in this situtation myself.
Patti -
i totally agree with baron
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Very good poem
Very nice, I like the twist at the end, flowed smoothly as well.
Just imagin a full grown woman trying to explain to her husband how the vacume cleaner happened to make it. WOuld be funny to hear.
Good job,
Baron -
Groovy
Oh my god, this was well not so much funny as scary. A little too close to home for me.. grins. But I guess to some it could be funny, cause it is an amusing situation if your not the one in it.. What was this a parody of if you don't mind my asking? All I can guess is Annabell Lee...
Loved it,
kali
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