Mind racing, Fear escalating, Everything's spinning
Heart beating faster and faster
Shaking Uncontrollably, Wishing I was dead
The blade slicing through my flesh, relief is now here!
A contest entry
- Four AMAZING lines by Lj-.
335 points, ended May 6, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is cool,it reminds me of part of a song for some reason- Short powerful poems have always been my favorite kind..
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Clear pain.
Nice write.
Thank you for entering,
Best of luck. -
relief is now here!
Humm very thought provoking work is here revealing the structure of the pain through the sharp and very poetic expressions here...Truely it is very heratfelt work by you bringing a kind of truth of the life here time and time again...The sentiments of the poem are so innocently stating the universal scene of the soul ...the structure of this work is indeed powerful in terms of the intensity of thought... A great work is here...
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Wow this was good, very uniquely done in my opinion. I really like the style. Very short and simple but strong, well done.
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I just wrote a similiar piece the other
day called, PIECES. I think your short
but "cut to the bone" approach is very
effective writing. I'm wishing you luck
in the contest, Poet.
Love, Lane -
wow! you could feel this as you read it! and the heart beats faster and faster as you near the end. this piece is short, but so very well done. good luck in your contest!!!
~bee -
Sweet
This is very true. I enjoyed the speedness of this poem. I'm not so sure I like the ending. Sort of sad, know what I mean? Slicing skin isn't a good thing to be doing. It's not really the only thing in life to do. There are better things to do then inflict yourself with pain. Okay sorry about the little rant. I liked your poem!
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