Merciful words
Deliver me:
Seize my emotions.
Surround and incase them;
Insulate and protect
we from each other.
Embattled once again
Judge us and absolve;
they are merciless
I am denial;
they seek equality
I seek freedom.
Upon my soul,
this field of flowers,
perseverance wanes
as battles destroy;
if hope succumbs
none may survive.
Compassionate words
reach for us;
teach us compromise
opening doors long shut.
Lend us new ears
to achieve understanding;
grant us respect
to support surrender.
Bring us together
in unity’s peace
and harmony’s
freedom.
Curative words fill me,
comfort and remind me
that always with in myself
life and love evolve.
Author notes
opt. 3. "The only devils in this world are those running around in our own hearts, and that is where all our battles should be fought." - Mahatma Gandhi
A contest entry
- Quote Inspiration - Win a One Month Silver Membership! by Sharcu.
450 points, ended June 2, 2007, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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A poem about words and such an elegant choice of words you have chosen here to portray your thoughts. A great job at writing a poem inspired by a wonderful quote. Nice job! Thanks for entering
--Tim -
This seems...how can I put it? A bit..trying to grasp the whole picture, but only allowing little slashes of the paint to be expressed. It seems to not be whole as you read through it, but it does stay together. If you get what I mean..
I greatly enjoy this, but..I didn't feel the responding to, answering, explaining the quote. Yet I could see how you did, and could see the abstract way of representing it. Interesting. -
Minor fix
'Merciful words
Deliver me:
Seize my emotions.
Surround and incase them;
Insulate and protect
we from each other.'
Suggestion:
Merciful words, deliver me.
Seize my emotions -- surround
and incase them; insulate
then protect us from each
other
In no manner am I telling you how your write should look- merely only giving suggestions but what this write gains is that tranquil secureness of knowing that things will be alright in the end -
Embattled once again
Judge us and absolve;
they are merciless
I am denial;
they seek equality
I seek freedom.
Upon my soul,
this field of flowers,
perseverance wanes
as battles destroy;
if hope succumbs
none may survive.
that was deffnitly my favorite part!!!
this is an awesome write, and you did an amazing job interperting the quote, This is how I felt about! The short verse was awesome, and I liked that you didnt rhyme (always a plus to me becasue its harder to give flow when there is no rhyme to catch your ears attention) Great write, and good luck in the contest!
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I really like this one too. If I copied my favorite parts I'm afraid I'd end up pasting the whole poem here. *-*
great job, yet again.
okay. so for the repetition. I'm thinking you did it on purpose, but I'll say it anyways. lol. you used freedom in the second and sixth stanzas. okay. that's all I'm saying. haha.
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good
I enjoyed reading this poem very much... good luck in the contest..... -
Love always wins out if you can stand the test of faith! Excellent emotional depth here, never forget always enduring, always forgiving, always absolving, always loving! Good luck!
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Bravo! Standing in applause
Mahatma Gandhi was indeed wise and I think you have done justice to the quote. And yet, there is such inner strife here and the need for absolve and understanding. A plea and a prayer well worth repeating. A war worth enduring for the battle won. I nearly broke into tears reading this....I hope you do very well in this contest. ~Pamela 
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