An untameable fire that no one can handle
A beauty that will never be
It's the taste of my seductive candle
That dances like stars under the sea
I approach it like an act of treason
It's burn warnings feed my attraction
It turns me to ash, without care or reason
With an explosive chemical reaction
It's making me weak, this arsenous crime
The air becomes thin and my head feels lighter,
But I know I'd hold it any time
Though it's smoke arms may grip me tighter
Then the smoke fades in my star from the sky
And it's light hits the air like a cool gentle pax
It dies down with a smoldering lullaby
As it's dripping it's angelic wax
Every time I see it lit
I have to sit and stare
If I get the chance to stay a bit
It feels like she's there
There is no cure, it won't do jack
It's an irredeemable heart-attack
Now it's too late, I can't go back
'Cause I'm a pyromaniac
Author notes
April 27, 2007.... This is how I feel about my girlfriend... She has serious mental illnesses, and it's hard to deal with, but I'm stuck on her. I love her. This is comparing her to fire--- beautiful, yet dangerous.
username: Autumnsflame
www.myspace.com/autumnsflame97
A contest entry
- #2 - emotion by Rosalie M.
750 points, ended June 6, 2007, 27 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANY THING by serenity silvermoon.
430 points, ended May 10, 2007, 157 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My AP Family Contest by SalenceIceDragon.
450 points, ended May 7, 2007, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhymes alone are only bones by JM Kenyon.
900 points, ended May 12, 2007, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Give Me All Your Gold~ by Midnight-x-Rose.
300 points, ended July 26, 2007, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest to Promote my Commenting ANYTHING GOES!! by Amethyst SilverMoon.
800 points, ended August 6, 2007, 279 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write Party ~ Closes In One Day by Namita.
300 points, ended October 1, 2007, 101 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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That's somethign wonderful fo you to do. And the poem is heartfelt and beautiful.
Luv,
Candy
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I love this and what you put in your authors note.Just because she is ill,you can see though it,and comparing her to fire,very good.Thank you and good luck!
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I love fire. I used to be pretty frightened by it, as my ex used to threaten to set people on fire and he was a little bit of a creep anyway. But fire is beautiful, especially untamed, like in a bonfire. Beautifully expressed.
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I saw a star on the tip of a butane lighter
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Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Descriptive as all get out, the feelings that you have toward the flame are quite passionate, and I appreciate them but not quite as much as you do, you seem to have a gift in finding beauty in things that isn't normally there for others, cherish it, and develop it, It's what makes you stand out and unique, Great job, you dark heart song popped out of the page and right into mine,
Chelsea Alexandra -
It's burn warnings feed my attraction - its rather than it's as it's is saying it is burn warnings feed my attraction
Though it's smoke arms may grip me tighter - its rather than it's as it's is saying though it is smoke arms may grip me tighter
And it's light hits the air like a cool gentle pax - its rather it's as it's is saying and it is light hits the air like a cool gentle pax
As it's dripping it's angelic wax - the first it's here is fine but the second is its rather than it's for it's is saying dripping it is angelic wax
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Nice rhymes, sosme are very uncommon. Terrific use of extended metaphor to express perhaps a great lovee of fire. *hug*s and best wishes always... ~Genie~ Note: Due to high volume of entries, I'll be using a scoring system to judge after the contest closes.
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WOW! This is awesome!!! great imagery. Best of luck in my contest!!! x]
~Cosmic
P.S.
can you tell me which person you want to be in my family please? sorry... Its just I cant view your profile and all beacuse I'm only a silver member lol x] thanks. -
Really creative write..so powerfull hehe this was really well written the imagery was very amazing...I wish you the best of luck in this contest and Keep writing you are very talented!!
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