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slow to blue

 

 

 

 

 

How do you paint silence?


or write it
thick as gray
turns slow to blue


a stagnant pool
in lazy ripples
moves under the low

dark skies of noon.

 

 

I imagined it empty,
a kind of death

in somber procession
an uneasy breath dressed
in flowered grief

 

 

but it is ominous

and stalking

a silken panther quietly
walking the tall grass,
its pensive prey held
tightly in its sight.


 

 

 

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Mariana gold member
    February 6

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    Simply Beautiful!

    I am lost in your words. This has such an ethereal quality to it...but yet it is solid and deep. I am not worthy  
    Thank you for posting this...it has set my day alight with thought and feeling. Bravo!

    Mariana


  • tara wilson gold member
    November 6, 2008

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    one of my favorites of yours..a good one here to feature...just wonderful, visual metaphors to paint silence with...and the uneasy breath too..is so good.


  • Grunts Girl silver member
    October 1, 2007

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    i like how you ended this with the panther..
    and pray...
    makes me want to risk that walk.. beyond the discovery of dead ends... to try to finally know the forest..
    nothing ever stays the same...specially when you try to paint the silence

  • Suzanne Dia
    September 24, 2007

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    Is it possible, though, that instead of death, it is birth? I suppose it depends on the scenario, and I am afraid I show my optimisim.

    I like to think of it as the pregnant pause that births the next idea and communication that feels worthwhile of anything more than silence.

    I like where this took me.


  • tinuelena
    September 16, 2007

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    Beautiful.

    I'd like to include this one, if you don't mind. I've added it to my list.

    Thanks so much,
    Elizabeth


  • misselaineous
    May 23, 2007
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  • Cat
    May 4, 2007
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    this is wonderfully sad-

    m


  • EvilKate
    May 3, 2007

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    Well worthy of reward and some. You managed to artfully balance word placement - just perfectly, setting the tone and flow for the reader with subtle subterfuge of pen.

    Impressively Done!


  • capricornpoet
    May 3, 2007

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    original blue

    I like the way this poetic journey walked through
    the shades of blues to grey to something real yet intangible and then you touched it ...
    just lovely, filled with metaphore.


  • Heart Sutra
    May 3, 2007
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    This is excellent.


  • Heart Sutra
    May 3, 2007

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    The metaphor is consistent in this poem. I have noticed that you are developing that skill very well and it is flawless in poem after poem. You have used silence, stalk, and prey perfectly but you have also woven in color and "flowering grief" with exceptionally good placement.


  • ArtFullyMe silver member
    May 2, 2007

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    silence.. and blue .. go together so very well
    for me there is beauty in that and the whisper of endless potential.. there are no shallows in a sky... and nothing but space in black..
    I have a love hate thing with silence.. because it is both death and birth.

    I like the thought of it stalking .. yes.. very much so.. we are prey, and there's little we can do about that, except scream.


  • line shakes
    May 2, 2007

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    you have a extraodinary talent to write. i just love your language here, it is not about english, but it is about characteristics of your poem, that is outstanding. even the first line itself already gripping the mind of a reader, your focus of silent as subject like a person....you had painted silence beautifully here...if one ever to ask "how do you paint silent?". i will answer..ask the poet, blur. nice write.


  • natari gold member
    May 2, 2007
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    i found this haunting and beautiful.


  • J.J. Sass
    May 2, 2007

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    I really like this. Emotion forces me to extract a few lines in particular (damn emotion) in the opening stanza:

    "as gray
    turns slow to blue"

    I love the concept of grey turning blue - puts a whole new spin on sad.

    Fine writing!
    Best wishes in the contest,
    Stacy


  • Nicolette gold member
    April 28, 2007

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    You paint it like this.... Loved the atmosphere you've created here...the weight of silence...and of blue... Wonderful poetry. I should read more of you!

    ~ Nicolette


  • Jersene gold member
    April 27, 2007

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    Wow...this has a heavy feel to it...lingers long after reading...leaves the reader to contemplate silence. Excellent penning!


  • Peteskid gold member
    April 27, 2007

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    a somber view

    great skill here and marvellous word choices put so few words to great use to make a somber mood in a poem that reaches deeply for imagery; the theme of blue is expressed as a somber mood and a metaphor to danger the windows are views of the somber world images, very well done. Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging...PK

1 - 23 of 23