She huddled, wept cerulean seas,
dreaming of which she knew not.
Confetti thoughts scattered her world,
sieving through her naked hands.
He wandered conveluted shadows,
seeking to conquer the undefined.
Voided passions fled before him,
his purpose refusing capture.
They met a midst scarlett battlefields,
each eclipsed before the other's gaze.
Destruction exploded the surrounding wasteland,
yet for them, paradise awaits.
She took in his darkness,
he basked in her resplendant light.
Both losing and finding, loosing and binding
their future in the line between.
Author notes
so many times, the answers we seek, can befound between the lines. That is what I think of when I see this picture.
A contest entry
- Abstract Poetry #5 (Pic Inspired) by The Cube.
1100 points, ended April 28, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For all of my past contest-winners... by WhollySurrendered.
475 points, ended August 5, 2007, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I enjoyed this piece very much. I flowed really well. The words just lept off the page. I like the lines" They met a midst scarlett battlefields,
each eclipsed before the other's gaze.
Destruction exploded the surrounding wasteland,
yet for them, paradise awaits."
This is by far my favorite verse. Alot of emotion here.
I can see why this won a silver.
Good work.
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excellent poem. thanks for entering and good luck.
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Wow. That was absolutely beautiful. I loved this. You used words in a fascinating way. I wrote a poem called The Line Between about five years ago. It's posted on Starlite Cafe, I believe...
I'll post it in a while...
Once more, this was a beautiful poem.
Write on!
~*~SP~*~
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I must say that this is more than just a poem [it is actualy a true story within a poem] for this happens all too often in real life. In S3 L4 however it seems that you abruptly switched from past tense to present [maybe it was done intentionally in which case----just ignore this]
If I may insert a personal pet peeve though , the poem is excellent , however the word "cerulean" has become such a cliche {I guess because it really is a very poetic word
], anyway this is about the fourth time this morning that I have read it. Unfortunately I can only blabber about it , but can not think of an appropriate word to possibly substitute it with [so please just take it at face value]Thanks
reenie
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wow
it's awesome. i like it all!!! the last line is a bit awekward though. -
Omg! this one is written so beautifully and the words the vocabulary is so decent and attractive. I love the choice of words and the amazing flow which makes it more pleasant to read. I just love the imagery and the emotions mingled with it..
Its a perfect one and beautifully written.
I love this one, great job!!!
I hope u like mine too, take a look..
thanks, God bless
love,
Mansoor -
Wow. This is an incredible story and you have done so well and so much with the literary imagery and detail that you have put into this piece. Nicely done! I thoroughly enjoyed the whole story that I picked up throughout this entire piece and I am so thankful that you have shared this amazing poem with us all. Nicely done!
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He wandered conveluted shadows,
seeking to conquer the undefined.
Voided passions fled before him,
his purpose refusing capture.
I'm not sure what the picture is/was because they don't load for me. But, this poem, on its own is very moving. The girl, in a better place than the boy. The boy, haunted, plagued by shadows and demons that only he knows. And then, in that instant, the darkness is shared. The light is shared, and they're whole.
This is very moving for me because this is where I am right now. Once, where trapped I've found light. A crack in the wall even that gives me hope in starting over again.
Much love,
Jessica -
i like how two different stories come together into one at the end, true what your saying about it good luck in the contest should give a fight
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This is a wonderful representation of looking between the lines. Breathtaking imagery and such a beautiful tale. I like how you wrote individual stanzas for each character and then brought them together, form matching theme. The last stanza is my favorite part though, absolutely beautiful and something I feel I am experiencing myself right now with my new found love. Wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing. Best of luck to you!
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'The Line Between'...
Lines full of nice imagry...
some parts I liked very much...but I won't quote them this time around....
and there still is a paradise awaiting if we just keep believing...
anyways as always....I/we thank you for sharing your words/works with us and of course me too....
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very nice litlle image, i couldnt look at the image due to my own apathy. i thought you used colour really well this in this piece. it was good vocabulary. good luck with the clowns.
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Awesome
I like how the stanzas seperate represent the characters individually, and then the last line brings them together. Also how you showed they are so different, yet they are one in the same. A really good and job well done.
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