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Prophecies as concerned with coming times of trouble, in three parts



1. The period of the central rain

A bit of libel
another desperate moment,
the arrival of the caravan,
a midnight quatrain
in the days of the central rain.
A chief in his own wady
killed
his women fled to other men;
his chattel no more.

No man should hold
more than he can protect
when the poles of the house
are rotten.
from the rain
the ever present rain
that brings the ever rising shore.

2. In His Own Words

Once when rung
as peach has it
when girls giggle
the boys say
let us stone them
but then run away
honoring nobodaddy.

“Let him who has ears
listen:

when the bee disappears
the flowers die.
A spring without blossom

 

3. The Return of Planet X

I was watching a cowboy show
on channel 8.
We had no color dreams.

Roar of the world
the buzz of the leaking whore,
that man with greasy hair
in a silk suit
selling St. Christopher
on city streets.

One of the cowboys got shot.

probably one of the sons of Katie Elder
the one that was hiding in Aton of Ra.
The Spirit that is,
the Third

Thing is,
I think she might be right
talking to the Ixians
in the dark night.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • cvillelisa
    May 5, 2007
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    I would have to disagree with the Judge of this contest, but generally I don't believe in disagreeing with judges in their own contests.


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    May 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on your bronze trophy.
    I would comment further, but am afraid I would sound like a babbling idiot.
    DP said it all.


  • CarCrashHumor
    May 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "No man should hold
    more than he can protect
    when the poles of the house
    are rotten.
    from the rain
    the ever present rain
    that brings the ever rising shore."


    wonderful. unique angle with how you place your words.


  • dp robertson
    May 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Starting with a pseudo parody, almost a hint of prophesy ala Nostradamus, maybe a hint of Blake, this had me smiling for it comes from left field bringing with it a plethora of images and such an interesting juxtaposition of metaphors and moments as to delight the reader, well this reader anyway and draw a line in the sand between what is good writing and what makes brilliant art. Without cutting and pasting the entire piece this is as good an example of that line in the sand.

    Roar of the world the buzz of the leaking whore, that man with greasy hair in a silk suit selling St. Christopher on city streets.

    Whoever writes that understands what it is to write poetry. Whoever reads that line and asks, what makes that so good can learn all the poetry structures, the correctness of the language and still completely miss that intangible that creates art.

    Thank you, that was like stumbling across a Modigliani in a 3rd grader’s crayon competition.

    David

    While this line is as beautiful as it is obvious

    No man should hold more than he can protect

    This line is simply inspired

    One of the cowboys got shot. Probably one of the sons of Katie Elder; the one that was hiding in Aton of Ra.

    And this poem was hiding in a cesspool of poetry crap but luckily not weighted down enough before it bobbed to the surface and glinted for a wee moment.


  • passionvine
    May 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Prophecy

    You and Blake

    Old testament prophets both

    I had a nightmare when I was eight years old about all the honey bees dying

    and then a government science project developed replacement bees to pollentate except that they could also kill with one sting

    the Dark One Satan was in the dream as well and reached into my chest and my heart burst into flames

    course this was in the days when I was still a church goes in my grandpa's church which was just a holler away from the snake grabbers.


    The caravan reminds me of some of my people too

    traveller types ,but i reckon you has something else in mind

    that's the way it is with prochecy

    too easily misread and mauled by dern fools like me.

    Peace.

  • Nicole Hanna
    April 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like how you approached this one, in parts. How many of your pieces have I commented on tonight? lol. At any rate, starting each section off with that one line works out so perfectly, because the stanzas that follow it support those lines very well. I have to say, though, I'm a particular fan of part 2 for some reason. It really spoke to me the most. Though, that's not to say the rest doesn't jump out at me. "leaking whore" is probably the best thing I've read all week. lol


  • Ariosto II. gold member
    April 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ummmm...
    This is a Lute squared
    I comprehend it only as shadows inside crstal balls

    (why do I think of Paul Bowles?)

    I know why

    It's the rain in the waddy again

    dammit Lute

    you score

    can you see John Wayne as Akhenaton (Genghis Khan?)


  • Creatress silver member
    April 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    kinda over my head, but is sure sounds perrty


  • duana
    April 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hey can you explain this to me? I don't want to act like I get it when I don't. It is a very creative poem, and I can see you have gotten some real thoughtful comments about it.


  • rite
    April 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Who will stop the rain? The rainman is riding longitudinal scalar waves. Tesla involuntary let the genie escape from the bottle. Who will stop the clashes of convictions? Religion and war are one and the same since Azazel opened the gates to unbounded violence to mankind. Who will stop Nibiru from returning to this solar system? Perhaps the dreaded annihilating false vacuum will. It is not science fiction. Good luck in the contest. Thank you for cerating and sharing. Take care,

    U

  • cvillelisa
    April 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Stanza 1:

    Here:
    libel, moment
    you make them rhyme.

    caravan, quatrain, rain

    more endline rhymes. That make that first stanza musical and singing.

    Stanza 2:

    No man should hold
    more than he can protect
    when poles of the house
    are rotten.
    from the rain
    the ever present rain
    that brings the ever rising shore.

    The first two lines just heartachey beautiful.
    Repetition of rain makes it seem like it is. Raining.
    I know the rising shore. A house fell into the ocean the other day.


    Part 2

    Ah. In his own words, and right smack there is Blake's Nobodaddy. In his own words indeed, you, Poet of Man. Also, say, away, nobodaddy -- all endline rhymes, beautifully done at that.

    Part 3

    This is the kind of poem that sucked me in your ability to make Science Fiction very real. That opening is is so transporting. and haunting, we had no color dreams -- black and white tv it seems but yet, also seems like it might be something more ominious than that -- as Time as we know it has been eroded by your words. When we talk about everywhen -- here is a perfect example. Reminds me of that sculpture exhibit I saw and told you about Trova, his figures were timeless - past present future now. Tis a gift to be able to write like that ya know. Good for you. Didn't look up Ixians till after a few reads just wanted to make it up that they were some ancient/present people -- now I know the reference is from the Dune's books. Another thing that has always been so intriguing about your work, the constant plucking and weaving from all sorts of sources of knowledge. Can't help but WANT to think when you read a Lute poem.

    Also, more endlines: right, night

    Never stray to far from music ... E.P. How many times I've quoted that on your poems.

    Yeah. This is quite fucking good as the Nurse said down below. It is also the second series of poems you have posted in 3 -- a Triad, a Mystical sort of number.

    Prophecies often get ignored in this day and age. What with King George telling everyone, "there is no Global Warming" while the tides erode and ice on mountaintops in the Andes disappears turning the land to desert. Nature will brush Man away, swiftly. I see some of that here -- especially in Part 1 where Greed creeps in in the statement about Man having more then he can hold.

    Something vastly empty about the fullness of this poem. Waste landishly Lute or something.

    100 points I reckon.

    Lisa

    oh yea yea yea good luck and all.


  • NurseChilly gold member
    April 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    fuck this is good... sheesh i said fuck... what i meant to say was bloody hell.. but i've just worked a run of 4 night shifts and a total of 47 hours... so i think i might need to lay down and ponder this one some more

    needless to say.. tis much smiling here

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