The Closed Door

I lie awake
watching the ceiling
seeing it
its cracks and contours
the uneven paint ridges
but the ceiling's paint job
is not what consumes
all my thoughts.

I lie in my room
alone
behind a door
that is closed
and locked
meant to keep others
from approaching
a signal for them
to leave me be
adn when I first entered it-
that was what
I'd thought I'd wanted.

But now
as my eyes leave the ceiling
and turn instead
toward the closed door
I wonder-
why is it
that no one
not a single person
has even attempted
to enter it?
Why won't they knock
call out to me
try to determine
if I'm okay-
why don't they show me
that they care?

I closed the door
to keep them out
but now I feel
closed in.

Why is no one
reaching out
helping me
to re-emerge?