As I lay face up, staring at the Ceiling
Cracks apper on my face
Stones seem to fall from the creases of my eyes
Blue and black are the colors of my heart
And It Rips at me, picks at me and causes me to bleed
Hate and regret fill u p my lungs and cause me to choke
"I'll be covered in mud, dowsed in Bleach"
Just like Kurt Cobain
Powerful heartbeats break open my chest
And I seem to fall asleep
Rhythm of a new lie...just like a lullaby
Can I crawl under a rock and just fall away from this earth
"Breathe into me and make me real"
you don't want to save me
I remember it well
"You can tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head"
A contest entry
- To Live and Breathe and Never Die Again by pointlessdayz.
525 points, ended April 30, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I loved the way you put in song quotes. I like the way it all flowed. So far all your poems I read I like. >=)
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I liked how you incorporated quotes into this piece. Maybe it's the AP english geek in me, but I felt that they needed to be cited, like I want to know who wrote them and what songs they are from... Also, what word bank did you choose?
Other than a few typos, this piece was well written and flowed well. I enjoyed reading it! (Maked me wish i hadn't made this contest anonymous so I could go to your page and see more of what you've written...
) Thanks for entering this piece!
-ALex
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