Yellowed paper in a bottle,
A cry for help that was never found.
I piece of trash to some,
The ones that weren’t around.
But over by the piano,
Slumped on the chair,
A youth sits alone,
Playing with his hair.
It’s been there forever,
It seems like years.
Yellow paper in a bottle,
Soaked with her tears.
He watches it sit there.
A ghost of his past.
His mother’s last wish,
Turned old so fast.
He has other memories,
Held in other things.
A red sweater, an umbrella
And three golden rings.
There’s the book she wrote.
A novel for him.
But its’ not very good,
The ending’s too grim.
The book was never published,
He has the only copy.
But now its’ stained with blood,
Her death had been sloppy.
The details aren’t clear
Of how she’d died that night.
All that is know,
Is that she thought it was right.
And so he looks through his belongings,
The things that once were hers,
And he can see her again,
Whatever cost that incurs.
Its’ this bottle that he loves,
This bottle he can’t resist.
Maybe he could open it soon,
All it would take is a twist.
Author notes
I used word bank No'2. This was nice, thanks.
A contest entry
- To Live and Breathe and Never Die Again by pointlessdayz.
525 points, ended April 30, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
I must say that I wasn't too crazy about the rhyming scheme in this piece. But the story behind it was beautifully written and I enjoyed reading it. Granted, I dont usually like rhyming pieces anyway, but still... It flowed well and the rhyme didn't sound forced, so overall I would say that I liked this piece more than I didn't. (That's not very encouraging, is it?
) Thanks for entering this piece!
-Alex -
-
hahaha, it's cool. If I wasn't ready to that sort of thing I would be entering a competition. SO it's all good, don't feel bad. Keep smiling.
-
lol, guess I entered it in the wrong contest then, huh? It's funny because I tend to prefer rhyming pieces (when they're done well). So, understanding what it's like to read one form when you prefer the other, I'm glad you liked it more than you didn't and I do find it encouraging. Thanks for commenting
-
-
I wouldn't say that you entered this in the wrong contest! It's just that I'm not a huge fan of rhyming pieces... But I think that this time, this was not exactly what I was looking for. I did like the story that this piece told, and I thought that it was very well written. Meh... I dont know. I feel bad when I tell people that I don't like rhyming things because they wrote them and put time and effort into them, but I didn't like it anyway... Rawr... It's frustrating.
-Alex
-
-
-
Aww thats sad, beautifully written, but sad. Where did it come from? What else can I say lol, its gorgeous.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
