Bleed out this slow starvation
Chew up all the bile,
Laugh at the reddened eyes
Laugh at the sweet denial
Suck
the air in your stomach
Don’t breath.
until I’m evaporated
Scrawl pointless words,
Because I am everything I hated
Close up this body with bruises
Lets see some black and blue
Squeeze out another tube of red
Come on;
let’s paint every hue
Flip the mirror and watch it crash
Then roll around in the flakes of glass
Watch the body,
limp and dead, lay there
Watch it in its final task
Search for the bloody palm,
Curse with deadly life, wail to demise
Make a print with that bloody palm
A sign, no one can cure this disease
Author notes
Maybe this poem isn't something for you all to personal "get" maybe....or maybe..you dont have to understand it at all.
maybe.
option 3.
im going threw both anorexia and bulumia. i was in control at first. last year. but this year its all crashing down and bulumia is kinda the answer. it may not make sense. idk. idkkk.
A contest entry
- Anorexia and Bulimia by GossamerAlice.
600 points, ended May 7, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pretty Little Rag Doll. by yesterdaysfeelings-.
750 points, ended June 15, 2007, 81 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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this is amazingly good.
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WOW DUDE!!! VERY STRONG.. GOD LOVES YOU..
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I like this. It is pretty abstract at times (or so I think) but I can really relate. Especially the first two stanzas. Wonderful.
Thank you for entering.
Much luck. <3 -
i like it it is very good the abstract and imagry is good i dont read a lot but i try to comment back on people who coment me
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This is writen really well. there are some flow problems but not very noticable, so it's all good. work on the flow in all your poetry and if you plan on the flow to be strange *cuz i do that all the time. It's fun ^.^* then you should put an authors note about how you planed it to be that way. but again all around good. great job, real deep stuff. i like it a lot. keep up the good work. a
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Wow, I love the almost frantic and chaotic pace this seems to have and the imagery is just amazing, great job.
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I really love this, the rhyming is awesome. I can kind of relate, I think I might be developing an ED... well anyway my favorite line is "Scrawl pointless words,
Because I am everything I hated" Awesome write.
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I like it alot.
The metaphors really make my mind swirl in morbid circles.
I love it.:]
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i liked your poem it was dark but truthful in a way that everyone can relate to great job
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I liked this poem. It was very dark, and it was very deep. I also thought how you carried out some of the actions flowed quite well. It was somewhat hard for me to understand. Perhaps it the poem were explained, or there were some notes, I'd be able to comprehend it better. (Then again I am a little out of it. ) All in all I really enjoyed it.
-Miranda.
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thats a good poem, very good
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great job, great pictures flashed through my head! keep up the good work! ~Amber
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So good seriously just so good! xXx
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Well, this is very vivid and slightly depressing. The message came across very clearly, and the rhythm works relatively well, though there is some room for improvement, you can find when you read it out loud. For example the penultimate stanza could be slightly rephrased to improve the flow as such: 'Flip the mirror and watch it crash / Roll around in the flakes of glass / Watch the body lay there, limp and dead / Watch it in its final task'. The only other comment I have is that 'bloody palm' is repeated literally in the final stanza. You could find an alternative way of describing it in one of those cases so that it'd be a little richer.
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thanks for the suggestions!!
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