It sits on a plate, just waiting to be eaten.
Dripping in juices, that long to be tasted.
Sweet and succulent. Ripe and pure.
Spewing with deliciousness.
Its what you always wanted, perfect to the core
Its original, its new, its the best thing in the world.
Its sitting on a plate, ready for you to take a bite,
its a brand new poem. Written for you to enjoy.
Author notes
I've had alot going on in my life the last few weeks and writers block has been socking me in the face making fun of me for it. This seems to be bringing me out of it.
NoL
A contest entry
- an hour to kill and points to share by DancingRed.
300 points, ended April 27, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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'Written for you to enjoy.' is a sentence fragment and is grammatically incorrect, even for poetry. The imagery in this does not really convey a 'new poem', and it is extremely repetitive, which is distracting from whatever point it was that you were attempting to get across.
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Its like the poem on the back of Watermelon Pickel. Great job I really want some fruit now.
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Actually, when I'd only started reading the first two lines I was thinking 'oh, yum - poetry!'
I thank you most heartily for this piece; it's literally overflowing with poetry. And of course it made me smile, being the poetry addict I am.
A few typos - 'ripe' third line and 'spewing' in the line after.
DancingRed.
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Thank you. Not sleeping for 5 days and 4 am makes my spelling worse then it normaly is. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
NoL
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