Fallen like my tears

their all yelling at me
can't stop the screaming in my ears that eats away my heart
all the things they say I don't do
my mistakes that they have to deal with
its all my fault

why can't they just stay out
nothing I live they need to know
not the little girl broken and silent anymore
I may be fucked up but I'm living my own life now

the whole family hates me now
thinks I've pulled away and I hate them now
they have it wrong they don't understand
I just need to live my days live my life without them

in the end you only have yourself
I don't want them knowing this side of me
nothing I've done they want to know
they just need to let go and forget

who I am and who they want me to be are very different
I live in the shadow and its best to stay there
I can't explain it so if you ask I'm not going to try
everything I do only makes you upset
yelling at me I hear things I will never forget

I'm not a little girl anymore
you didn't even look for the bad things I did before
I haven't changed I have been living this life a long time
its just now that I am older that you have started looking
you only see the surface you have no idea how deep it goes

I am not going to start letting you in
the only one who might understand is a ghost thats a little to much like me
spending the night trying to forget the day
walking in the cemetery silence putting our thoughts in order
can you remember just walking until we had talked about everything

now I'm alone at night lying alone thinking
the mess in my head keeping me from sleep
so I take my pills to wish the world away
closing my eyes and asking never to wake up

yes I slashed my screen
I felt trapped not trying to get things outside that you can't see
but thats what you are looking for
a drug addiction until you find one you will just keep looking
keep accusing me of this and that

you told me lies
I've told you more
neither of us really want to know the truth
lets just stay out of each others way
I only live with you because there no where else to go

the sky is black the same as my heart
let the rain fall just like my tears
fallen I lie on the ground
just looking up at the stars and forgetting everything