His fangs drip with blood,
the sweetest blood to have
ever touched his lips.
His claws ravage her lifeless
body, the skin loudly rips.
All that's left are the bone
sucked clean, not a trace of blood
remains in sight.
The creature turns and heads for the
son of the woman he just devoured,
the little boy scours in the corner.
terrified the little boy runs as the demon
approaches.
A terrible scream rips through the air,
the demon holds the arm of the little in
his claw as he begins the second feast.
Again you can hear the terrible sound of
the skin ripping as the creature continues eating.
A contest entry
- ~Darkest Of Dark~ by XxMysticalFantasyxX.
450 points, ended April 30, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - a contest to enter with your eyes closed by DancingRed.
300 points, ended June 3, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - In A Mind Of Darkniss by Myth Of Twilight.
890 points, ended June 5, 2007, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Wow!!
Powerful piece You have here with images that get the skin to crawl
The line:
A terrible scream rips through the air,
Can only imagine
Magnificent verse to get the goosebumps
raised
Keep that quill dancing
Thank You for sharing this with us!
Many blessings to You
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
-
Hmm...
I like the umm, rhyme. ^_^ This makes me...scared..since I'm still scared of vampires and werewolves. x_x
The only thing i would change...
"terrified the little boy runs as the demon
approaches. "
this line broke the feeling the reader had of deep gore poetry. I would change that into how you had all the other sections of writng.
Otherwise, It frightened me. Good job. ^_^
....the picture should be of Venom from Spider-Man lol. ^_^
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great wright great work thank you and best of luck
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Terribly dark and gory, I'm not to sure I like this style, but it's never the less effective in it's own way. Very scary! I'm not too sure about the lips/rips rhyme - it makes me wonder if the whole poem is going to rhyme or not.
Thanks for entering.
DancingRed.
-
I...
Am very glad I am done eatting that is like freaky like nightmares I used to have of monsters eating my parents then coming after me... -
oooo freaky I like it hehe this poem was very creative..I really enjoyed this poem it gave me chills well anyways I wish you the very best of luck in this contest! Thank you for entering and keep writing :
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Vicious. I like the flow, too, and very well painted.
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OOH AHHH MUMMY!
This was really scaring. Too darkie and sound good for a Horror Movie.
But I still love it, as I am crazy about dark stuff.
Take care;
Pretty.
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