Tho' clouds gather over my head
and many things are done and said
I feel the weight of pressure undo
I can't discern what's good or true
I hesitate to think in terms
of good or bad or obsolete
I wander through the maze of life
I encounter insurmountable strife
Troubles seem to come in waves
so fast I feel the grief of slaves
I wouldn't complain for fear
that more will follow than what is here
I stagger at the mountain peak
I hold my tongue, I dare not speak
though the end of the rainbow is not in sight
I still believe...with all my might!
Author notes
This is one of my most earliest of poems written. My entry level
If you will. Be kind, be gracious...smile.
A contest entry
- So You Think You Have Soul?? by Trixie08.
300 points, ended September 2, 182 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotions and Inspirations... by jazzerina.
475 points, ended May 18, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Take time to move me; by bonjourbunnie.
425 points, ended October 6, 2007, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For suseann, who's burdened with more than anybody should have to deal with. by ecrivain01.
1100 points, ended November 8, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhymed prewrites only ... by ecrivain01.
800 points, ended July 31, 2008, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Provocative And Persuasive Poetry by The Rainbows Mind.
2100 points, ended December 21, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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this is a sad and powerful piece of poetry, i love what you have penned her, if this is your first write i will have to check out some of your other stuff to see how you have come forward, great poem!
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This is a good poem. All about life's most important lesson. When the odds are stacked against us, we must press on. Thanks for entering.
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Thank you for your review of this one, its kind of like my 'baby' lol you ran an excellent contest, it was a pleasure
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this is really thought provoking, i would have never thought that this was an early work it's really well written, and well thought out, best of luck in the contest
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Thank you so much
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interesting read. Good job
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If you changed that to "undone" ..
and made the last line end with lost or won, it would be much better. -
It's not bad ...
but you can't use "undo" that way. It would have to be "undone".
Otherwise, it's not bad.
Thanks for entering. -
A WONDERFUL INSPIRATION!!!!
Your words are so true, we must continue to do the things we do, give, always reaching out to others, showing compassion. If we stop we give up so much of ourselves if we do.
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Well,it bears an odd resemblance to my own thoughts and feelings at overwealming times. Well versaed,I enjoyed.
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glad you liked Thank you lol if it's any consolation, I sure can relate, just trust and take my word on that
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I am sure ...
that suseann would like this one. You might want to fix the glaring error here:
and many things are did and said
and many things are done and said
but all in all, this is a good job.
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Thanks so much I hope she does get something from it
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One of your requests is filled - I smiled. I love this poem, and the hope and peace and serenity it implies, no matter how dark the horizon. I love the imagery and symbolism. Good luck in the contest!
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Bonjour, merci... lol
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did you want did-or did you want done?...in line 2. you did a great job! good job of imagery. again great job, and good luck in the contet!
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Thank You
I enjoyed your contest. It was a pleasure.
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ah yes, we have to keep hold of belief, though sometimes we let it slip a little, a good poem, first line needs a capital c!
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For Sure
And some of us(I'm not telling...smile) sometimes let it slip a lot. Thanks for you editorial correction..I do appreciate.
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You say it's one of your earliest written, well I will have to see what you are doing now! Right now I am at that mountain peak, and you shared your strength with me. Thank you
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Well
You have so honored me. Sharing is part of my dreams. Thank you so much for this response.
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