"I love you..."
(flashes back a few seconds)
...I see the bullet come towards you,
and its all i can do,
to push you away,
in a loving embrace...
(flashes forward to the present)
"Everything will be fine,
for I will be ok.
Theres an angel right behind you,
my dear to take me away."
Author notes
The part in the flashback is supposed to be the characters thoughts.and this is another experiment of mine.hope everybody likes.^_^
i will go with the sad love option/lost love.
A contest entry
- Last words... by Nitenovanavium.
1000 points, ended May 2, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My First Contest by Lost In Dreaming.
800 points, ended June 1, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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great
i loved this and saw this bullet and saw how love interviened.
great
loved it
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WOW this is a great expiriment--good luck in my contest. ttyl
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OMG!!! origonality!
i dont think in the history of my time here ive seen anything quite like this,
its short and sweet, full of emotion, and youve used a flash back convention of which you tend to only see in theater and not so much writing.
i love finding an original piece umongst the rest every now and then, its rather invigorating. i also liked the fact you put your last word first
well done and good luck in the contest!!!
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i read this poem...except i think that you should organize it a bit more..and what were your last worsd? unless i missed that part
anyways keep writting your talented 
~Chrissy~ -
veary good. and this type is good as well. mabye you should right some more with the same type
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Oh my goodness, the story this tells is simply incredible! Good luck in the contest, though you won't need it. ^^
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thank you...and my luck i will need it.lol.
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Nice write.
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thank you.
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