try not to look deep inside his eyes
his glare would freeze you and burn you
his fists, dripping with black blood
he lays in his bone made throne
he only once wept a silver tear
over mankind he felt pity
you can see yourself in his eyes
in the mirrors of reality
chained to doom he suffers
his lover left him in ashes
sleeping on her graveyard
roses burn inside the casket
thunders are jailed in his eyes
two bombs about to explode
injected with blood they seem
the eyes are never looking away
A contest entry
- I wan't to get lost in your eyes by shattered logic.
440 points, ended May 13, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Amazing write
Love the imagery here, its amazing. I had a mental image throughout the whole poem. My favorite part would have to be this one:
"chained to doom he suffers
his lover left him in ashes
sleeping on her graveyard
roses burn inside the casket"
Once again, amazing job.
keep the ink flowing,
~L_D_P~
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i need you to put the option number you chose in your comment box please and thanks!!
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Meh...
Definitely needs a spell check. Other than that, I thought it was just too melodramatic, what with the roses burning inside a casket and the black blood and whatnot. -
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instead of saying that you dont like this, why dont you tell me what could i do to make it better?
still.. this poem is good to me, if you cant preciate it, im sorry to tell you, but i dont really care..
i hate it when people comment things without sense or without saying how to make it better.
and the "melodramatic" is just abusive.
THIS was a kind of doom poem.
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