Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

The Man I Fell In Love With

My beloved lies in hospital in a comatose state;
the first time he’s been ill since our marriage in ’48.
The doctors say there’s little hope, but forever will I wait –
I will not give up on the man I fell in love with.

He closed his eyes a month ago; they may not open again,
the drugs might render him senseless, but at least they kill the pain.
Tubes and needles extend from every cavity and vein –
a mere shell of the man I fell in love with.

I’m told it would be kinder to simply let my husband die,
but they don’t seem to understand – if he goes, so will I.
My family says it will be all right, but I know this is a lie –
I could not live without the man I fell in love with.

How could I kill the man who held me after my stillbirth?
The man who said that for me, he would move heaven and earth?
The man who said he loved me for my mind and not my girth?
How could I do that to the man I fell in love with?

It’s hard to reconcile that man with the one before me now,
outwardly, my husband’s disappeared; I know not when or how.
But deep down, he’s still the man with whom I’ve never had a row –
underneath, he’s still the man I fell in love with.

He’s still the one who caught me when I got cold feet and ran,
the one who, for fifty-nine years, has been my biggest fan.
Just because he’s sleeping, he’s not some other man –
he’s just a still form of the man I fell in love with.

It has been a long time since he wore his dancing shoes;
a growing lack of energy was one of Death’s first clues.
We were told he’d have to fight for life; we never thought he’d lose –
for that’s not like the man I fell in love with.

“He’s better dead than a vegetable,” is what my children say,
but nothing anyone can do can make me turn away.
I swore I’d never leave him; no one can make me sway –
I will stay beside the man I fell in love with…

In a list

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 37 of 37

  • mondae
    December 2, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Oh. My. God.

    OH. MY. GOD. I love this poem. It is soooo good. love it.


  • The-Chance-To-Speak
    July 3, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    The-Chance-To-Speak

    I realli enjoyed your poem. Its interesting and kool.


  • DarkAngel2013
    June 30, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    That's a gorgeous poem. I loved it


  • ChanceBliss
    June 30, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    This was such a great poem, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it

    I swore I’d never leave him; no one can make me sway –
    I will stay beside the man I fell in love with…

    Love that bit soo much. It's really beautifully phrased and flows really well, simple but effective!

    I’m told it would be kinder to simply let my husband die,
    but they don’t seem to understand – if he goes, so will I

    This poem has such alot of passion in it! I want to keep reading but I think I'll cry if I do Please keep writing, you have a talent!!


  • Kira65
    June 25, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    I love it, it was a marvelous write! it has a great flow it is just pouring with emotion an i love how you ended it with

    I will stay beside the man I fell in love with…

    Thank you for entering and good luck.


  • xochocoholicxo
    June 23, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    that was a very good write

  • judmc
    May 25, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent ! !

    One beautiful poem about an impossible dilemma that
    many people are confronted with when a partner lies in a coma on the brink of death.Very meaningful and
    full of beautifully rhyming well chosen imagery
    Loved every word of it....George


  • Krissy89
    May 20, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Aww this was great. I can feel the energy of true and loyal love...love I hope to find...well I found but wasn't able to maintain. This was beautifully written


  • rainbows.
    May 9, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    This is truly amazing. =) Its also very sad and made me want to cry. Thank-you for putting this up.


  • nikoshiana
    May 5, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Loved this poem, so much.. so moving


  • starrynight3636
    May 1, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    I love the rhyme scheme. Beautiful, a tribute to lasting love. I was fooled as well by your age.


  • Danzy007
    May 1, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    i have a piece much like this, i was crying when i wrote it up and every time i read it it makes me cry still, there are different types of love, but love is love and that agony after death cuts that love form your embrace... well... i know the feeling, child or not, i still know

    well done Mate

    ~The weird aussie chick~
    ~Dani Gal~


  • Mr-D
    April 30, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Hard to write like that without sounding forced, you do a good job withform limitations. You have not wasted space on imagery when feelings are so important. The poem gives me a good sense of where it starts and moves to a conclusion. I can feel the conviction and reasoning of the character which is important if I am to feel empathy which may cause another pain.


  • Shuberth
    April 11, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome !

    This is so beautiful, it shows how much love you have for this person and that it will forever last no matter what they say, I loved this alot , it was sad, beautiful and with full of love and hope, very well written the rhymes and the flow was perfect .

    Keep the pen going



    Shuberth


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    April 5, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    *jaw drops*

    This is brilliant. Amazing work here.
    This is love. When you stick by their side no matter what.
    Great rhyme and flow.

    Well penned


  • woodyperth
    March 19, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    It takes a lot to move me but this did!
    I believed it was coming from the heart and not empathy and imagination, until i read one of the other comments and re-read your profile. This from one so young, amazing...


  • catherinelaughs
    March 18, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    ohmahgoodness

    this made me teary eyed. (not an exaggeration) it makes me think of old people who stick together through it and i'm like "damn, that's what i want someday". it's great subject matter. really, really well done.


  • Toxic Stardust
    March 13, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    even though it's random...I really like it...and you're 18. so I know that really hasn't happened to you, but if I hadn't seen your age, I woulda sworn that this came from an 80 year old woman who's husband was about to die...just beautiful. good luck!
    Alicia Lynn


  • Selestial
    March 10, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my goodness.. what sad sad imagery this has. Very pointed, and honestly, I cant say that I wouldn't feel the same way about not wanting to let them go. Good work.


  • couldbeworse
    March 10, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    i loved the repetiton of "the man i fell in love with" thought that was brilliant. again your rhyme is flawless...how do you do that? *ponders* lol. great write.


  • ciara12
    March 10, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    this was amazing i really likied it and i ffelt the emotion coming from it.. i wanted to cry as i read it....

    love always Ciara ann


  • SaraMaria
    March 9, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    This is very interesting and the idea behind it is also very interesting. I like the flow of the poem and also the emotions of the piece

  • piccola
    March 9, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    I have a living will so that they can't hook me up to anything should I be brain dead or something. It's too hard (in my opinion) for someone who loves me to have to do the disconnect thing. I loved your write though it has good rhyme, flow and great depth of feeling. thank you for entering.


  • The-namesless-one
    March 9, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Nice write. Lots of emotion. I can relate..sort of.

  • clarinet reid
    March 8, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Wow... beautiful

    This. Is. Amazing. The pain and love in this thing literally smacks you in the face. It was so raw I nearly cried. Thank you for stalking me, because I now have a place to go when I need to feel good about the world.

  • Dorkerella
    March 8, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome~

    wow i really like it. You seen verry talented


  • The-Doctors-Angel31 silver member
    November 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a sweet poem. I hope if I ever get married my marriage is like this one described fake or not. I enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest


  • StefanieShamblesx
    October 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I LOVE IT!!!!!!

    This is a really really great poem! I tlooks like you put a lot of thought into this, it is wonderful. I love the way way it flows, it is truly a beautiful poem, thnx for entering and XxGooDLucKxX


  • VanitaVarsha
    April 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    i was much surprised to read this then learn that you're 17. i much appreciate how wonderful this poem is and it shows how hard it was to write, there is too much emotions for their to not be some work involved, as you probably know. thanks again, it is just wonderful.

  • muffinbug08
    April 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    loved it

    i really liked it!!!!!


  • Aurielle
    April 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very honest and the rhythm was flawless

    a flawless write

    this poem was remarkable

    • DramaQueen469
      April 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Oh my gosh, thankyou so much!! and thanks for commenting!

      Maria xoxox

  • mengelkochsls
    April 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow that is AMAZING my grandpa past recently and i know thats how my grandmother felt, how she made it threw i have no idea but this is an amazing poem!


    • DramaQueen469
      April 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much for the comment and I'm sorry you lost your grandad

      Maria xoxox

1 - 37 of 37