‘Once upon a time’, she took an oath of growth.
Solemn years of tears, marked by jeer and fears.
Painful debauchery and mockery absorbed by the ears.
There is a vast spectrum of strife.
There is a mother, a daughter, a sister, a wife:
They are the gateways to this life.
Notice an impasse in this class is death.
Hovering like a canopy until her last breath.
The wisdom behind the trials has depth.
But taking the stand is the one who ‘slept’.
Swept up by envy or pain, guilty of ruining a name.
There’s enough blame and shame to go around.
Can you hear the rain? Rain. Rain. Rain.
The pain leaks into the soul, the heart, the brain.
After the heavy wind, she’ll stand again.
This is her natural state; she keeps a full plate.
Her skin might be tough like rawhide, still she cries,
“A thousand tears on the inside”.
In a list
- On Women... • next in list
- DEDICATIONS & Salutations... • next in list
- Thought Retreats • next in list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 60 of 60
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An "oath of growth" that can sustain a woman through such difficult sorrows and ultimate betrayal is certainly one that has pierced all the way through to the soul and made a change of character. I am enjoying this particular list... you are heralding the finest qualities that many women bear...the ability to recognize such greatness is the quality of a great man. Wonderful, inspiring poetry, Randy.
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Oh my gosh, this is such a fantastic comment ten. I'm moved by it more than you know. This piece here is one of my personal favs...I started writing a book a while back and this is the opening poem in it. Thank you very, very much for saying these great things. Glad that you're enjoying the list.
AsIThink...
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This has meaning and is well written.
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Thank you very much. It's a personal favorite of mine...
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This poem displays a heart with deep sensitivity. To be able to see into someones elses pain and hardships and pen it as you do is a talent beyond mere confessional poetry. A step into selflessness. A superb write from the mind of a poet...alby
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GULP!... You have paid me such a high honor here. This is probably my favorite piece. My co-worker used the title (that why it's in quotes) when discussing some of her pain with me. I knew right away that I had something to write; I asked for permission to use that line and it was given to me. The rest, is what you see. Thanks very much for such high compliments.
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This is a very good write. You presented your thoughts quite well here. There is a lot of emotion behind your words. I was hooked till the very last line.
Well done Poet.
Keep up the good writing.
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Wow...thank you very much. I appreciate your kind words and the time you spent with this piece. It makes me pleased that I decided to post it (which I initially was not going to do). "I was hooked till the very last line." - now this is a new one for me: I wasn't even going fishing (lol). I truly thank you and feel honored by your words.
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HI! Randy wonderful job on all this is Tye/goldenchild.
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Thanks a million (GC)...I see you're finally on, huh? lol...I'm glad you got a chance to read this. It's actually my favorite piece. I mostly dedicated it to my mother...
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Notice an impasse in this class is death.
Hovering like a canopy until her last breath.
The wisdom behind the trials has depth.
I love the way you have rhymed the last two lines, it created a really lovely flow in the poem.
This is her natural state; she keeps a full plate.
Her skin might be tough like rawhide, still she cries[,]
“A thousand tears on the inside”.
A few grammatical errors, but not many and those can be fixed up.
This is an extraordinary piece of creative writing. It shows initiative, and resourcefulness's, well done!
Keep up the good work!
Merry Christmas, God bless you! -
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Thank you so much...This is one of the most intriguing and encouraging comments I have ever read about something I've written. I missed the gram. error (thanks for the pointer). I think this is a power-house comment. Maybe I'll cry now...lol. I'll keep trying to improve. Thanks so much for the feedback. Please enjoy this season of introspection.
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I have read this one before, Yet each time I read it. It touches my heart, it feel as though you found a way inside my mind and wrote a poem for me. This is me and my life in a nutshell. Such beauty in your words, the flow is amazing, and the rhyme never missing a beat. Two of my favorite things, rhyme poetry, and full of true emotion!!
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O'my gosh...(or as they write: OMG, huh?). You're comments are so touching and meaningful. I feel very pleased that this little piece has had such a positive effect on you. I think I'm don't know what to say, really. Thank you so much...truly. I am honored by your kind words.
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I like this. It is kinda sad, thinking of tears on the inside, even though I've been there.
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Thanks a lot. Yeah, I know...so many of us have (sometimes on return visits...lol).
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I like the meter set-up: 3 lines instead of the usual couplet, freeverse or 4-liner. I think that makes it visually appealing. I also like the title. That sounds like it came from the heart. It did, didn't it?
But I geuss the whole thing sounds like you wrote this with your heart . . .it's so beautiful! Awwww! -
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Your words are like 'music' to these ears. I appreciate the time you have taken to critique this piece and to share your thoughts about it with me and anyone who may read these notes. Yes, it came from my heart and I'm working hard on developing a strong, healthy heart. I want it to be empathic and kind; gentle and discerning (yeah, my heart - lol). Thank you for your candor and good-will.
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This is a very beautiful poem. It always surprises me when humans sit down and think about the smaller, yet essestial pieces of our world. Without trees, without life, our world would be a very different place. I love it.
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This is a very beautiful comment. And it always surprises me too, when we are able to appreciate the different qualities in each other (whether it is through art/poetry or other sincere human endeavor, etc.). Thanks so much for taking out the time to read these lines. It makes me smile knowing that you love.
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This poem is artwork in my eyes. This touched me on a personal level, it feels you wrote down my feelings word for word. The rock hard skin on the outside hiding my true feelings on the inside, doing so to protect the ones we love. This poem has beautiful flow with each line, and the words you chose placed perfectly to portray what you wanted the reader to feel. Thank you for sharing such a lovely poem. two thumbs up
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Thank you for this inspiration-filled comment. I felt very moved by it. That you could identify with this piece makes this more meaningful to me. Your remarks here, are more thought-provoking than you may realize. Thanks very much.
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WOW
what a great poem!!!!! you did a great job on this. i love the title of the poem it has alot of meaning it was telling me to read it. wow i wish i could write like this. you gave your poem something that makes me want to read it again and again. you are very talented with your poetry. thank you for letting us read your work. you do a great job.
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Your words touch me deeply. I get a real positive sense of encouragement and that means a lot to me. I sincerely thank you for spending time with this piece. And your feedback is very inspiring. Thanks again (and again).
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Amazing. This is so beautifull written, I love both the flow and the imagery. It reads like a song. I love it.
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Thank you very much. Maybe you're trying to get me to cry "a thousand tears" - perhaps on the outside though...lol. I am so glad I posted this and that you love it. I had no idea of how it might affect others. I really am not sure what to say...you honor me. Thanks again.
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The contents of the piece are intense and the message and story are intriguing...The only thing is the inconsistent rhyming within three lines. That seems like a tricky little en devour and I cannot tell if you intentionally broke the pattern, or if there was no intended pattern in the first place....I am going to give you applause for your beautifully strong language and for your last stanza. It is truly brilliant!
Cyn
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Wow...I'm truly stunned by your powerful comments and compliments. I am sort of at a lost for words...Thanks so much. I would tend to side with intentional broken patterns...lol; I wish that I was more prepared for this...I really feel honored by your words. Thanks for the applause. You have given me much to think over. While this was deliberate, it really helped me to vent some buried emotions from an advocacy place (too).
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-smiles- I'm glad...Venting is always a good thing!
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lol...I fully agree. Thanks again.
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Wow!! I love this write!!! It flows so nicely and its very easy to read and feel the emotion that comes out so naturally in this write!!! Great job!
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Thank you. I fear I'll run out of things to to say due to having received such amazingly encouraging comments. I'm glad I posted this...originally, I didn't want to post this. Now...I feel differently.
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amazing
liked the hovering canopy image especially. you sure have a way with images
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I'm so touched by this response. Thank you very much.
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I actually really love your style of writing. The sense of alliteration in almost every line comes across as well penned rather than forced.
The message is also great. You've got the ability to take something that could easily be made cheesy but keep it amazing.
Very well done.
♥
Bandaid.
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Wow...thanks a lot. These are very encouraging comments. I'm moved by your sense of sincerity and candor here. It's a dedication poem (and one of my personal favorites). Again, thank you so much.
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I like it.. but i'm not used to the three lined poems.. if there was anyway you could re-do this, it would be amazing in 4 line! Thanks! (check out mine!)
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I'm pretty new to the poetry scene and in time, I'll probably play with the 4 line suggestion here. Thanks for the insight and thought. I will check your style soon (God-willing).
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Oh my, this is absolutely beautiful! A mother, a daughter, a sister, a wife...full plate, but skin tough as rawhide, and as a woman, and all of the above titles, I know she cries a thousand tears on the inside, because I do too.
Blessings,
Sassy
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This comment is "...absolutely beautiful!" Thanks sooooooo much. Yeah, I really appreciate your warmth in these remarks of yours. I'm glad you like it. Blessings (and happiness) right back at you. Thanks again.
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you are very true and impressive especially in
the description which you did with a fascinated penning here..The emotional as wel as universal sceanrio with its impressive image and its pace is very catchy here..I love this piece you atracted a lot to the readers..well done
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Wow. This is an impressive and great reply. This piece sort of poured from me onto the screen. Inspired by a co-worker, I was moved to write this. It was hoped that it would have a wide appeal. I'm thankful beyond words. Please give me a bit and I'll visit your site. I've been pretty busy so I'm behind with my replies.
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this was a very good poem. it sounds like you have been thruogh alot. the times are like that now for almost everyone, it seem to be a momolouge for our generation.
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ha.ha. Do tell, huh? I've been through my share. Nothing too devastating though...the stories of others easily silence mine. Thanks very much for your comments.
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good write, your words explain much in this poem, and those are the keys in life.
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Thanks so much. I appreciate your kind feedback. I'll be visiting your site soon. Thanks again; I really agree with your insight here.
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Good comment. And your words are of the type that help others to find their voice (or keystrokes) and continue on...Thanks a lot. And I feel happy with your supportive views and feedback.
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Such a sad poem.Seems like so many people feel like this in the world these days and I myself have felt like this many a time.I have cried so many tears as the person you wrote about has.Makes me feel sad about times I've been through and the thoughts were portrayed very well.The use of the name of the title was perfect as well as the first and last lines.Great job.
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Wow! Great comments. Very insightful and positive. As I mentioned to "sylve" below, this was inspired by a co-worker but not an actual situation of any one person. My co-worker (here on AP as "sistasister") unbeknownest to her (initially) supplied the EXACT title. The content came from my observations of the lives of others. Thanks so much for the read and good feedback.
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I like how your poem tells a story albeit a sad one. I think every family has secrets and shame they have to live with and hold on to. I don't know of any that don't... even though I don't know the details of many that do but I know my own. Great write and I love the ending. I hope 'she' eventually stops crying anywhere.
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Hello sylve...Thanks a lot for the very positive and thoughtful commentary. I feel moved by the content even more now that you've said what you've said. I didn't even see it this way. Interesting...It could also tell a positive story, "...After the heavy wind, she’ll stand again...
This is her natural state..." And just so you'll know, this is not about any particular person. BUT, it WAS INSPIRED by a co-worker of mine. So, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it. Thanks again.
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WOW. This is a very touching and beautifully sad write.
I like the form and the rhyme was well done,although I am no expert I know what I like and what beauty is in writing and you certainly have created a beautiful write.
Awesome piece, really great!
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WOW!
...right back at you. Your comments are incredible. To have managed "...very touching and beautifully sad..." content is a wonderful thing to hear from another. I am really moved by your remarks. Thank you very much. I feel honored and thank you so much for the read. I'll be visiting your site shortly.
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???, I REALLY THOUGHT I PUT A COMMENT HERE!
SOMEONE STOLE MY COMMENT! I DEMAND A RECOUNT!, oh uhm sorry wrong show, anyways I feeling like crying a thousand tears...this is so poignant! excellent job!
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You too? I guess the 'eyes' really do have it (lol). BTW, we installed hidden cameras, so...if you want to find out about that stolen comment...ah, just kidd'in. Thanks a lot for the positive feedback (like always).
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Like wearing a mask , a facade that covers up what's really going in inside. Liked the rhyme, the sentiments you express so well in these lines. Easy to read and understand. Liked how you brought the title back to the last line and related it all together.
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Thanks a lot. Mask wearers everywhere, huh? lol. This was inspired by a heartfelt conversation with a co-worker of mine. I was a little shocked by her tears though (wasn't really expecting that response after she read this). Hmmm...life is funny like that.
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wow this is so beautiful, you did an excellent job, and it all flows so well together, and the words touch the readers heart! amazing job
keep it up!
i smile on the inside and have so many tears inside, i guess it's bad to keep it locked up, but i just can't seem to let the ones around me know how down i am....
but i loved your poem!!!
stephanie
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Thank you so much for the great feedback. It followed a conversation I had with a co-worker who was so focused on her expressive story-telling that I was nearly overcome with the urge to write this. In fact, as soon as I got home that evening (some time back), I wrote this. I'm so glad you loved it. It may sound 'corny' to suggest 'positive' thinking, but suggest it I do.
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