Words linger in the air
They're said
What of it?
Misting rain on my windshield
Foggy fields surround the highway
I drive
Lose control!
Screaming
Yelling
Standing Still
Look into the eyes
You come and go in waves
I dance
Free yourself!
Crying
Tearing
Dancing Still
Thoughts hanging in the moment
They're here
What now?
One day you'll want to draw blood
I do
One day peace will be
The demons are control
Insanity is peace
The rolling fog to see
The pounding drops to lose
Tame the things in boxes
To feel serene at last
Eyes shining blackened love
To meet sweet baby blues
Reflection suits the lover
How do you love?
One day the pulse will be too much
I see
One day you will see
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I wonder of "they're" should just be "they said". The way you have it now, it reads "They are said what of it?" which seems more than a little awkward. But I love the line breaks, the one word lines, etc. Things like that create such a unique flow in poems and those are always the ones I get involved with the most while reading. The last three lines are wonderful. The "I see" so perfectly short there in the middle captures the mood exactly as it should
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Thank you for the critique. The line "they're said" is meant to be that. I'm referring to the words. The words are said. What of it? I don't use punctuation often in poetry, but if it were verse there would be a comma or period after the first line. I hope that clears it up. Thanks again.
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Ah, I got it now! Thanks for clarifying.
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i think this poem is amazing it makes so much sence but still has a lil mystery
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the first stanza
doesn't make quite sense
"They're said what of it"
the imagery was good detail enough
nice write
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