The world waltzes beneath us
I still,
Whilst you smooth my hair
Infancy.
Don’t let me grow
Scared
Of moving back to motion
Anchoring the apocalypse
…Evolving
Freeze!
Sssh, if you move it will find us
Even our heartbeats
Are too loud to hide
For love rarely lasts a lifetime
And if it does
Death steals it in an instant
Lie back and let us become one person
Fil each crease in your body
With my flesh
So time cant see
Start a fire
Melt, mould, merge….
Maybe.
Just don’t lie and talk about forever
Future plans? Bleh.
Weddings, conceiving, creating
That sought after eternal happiness
How quick could your mind snap?
How fast could our dreams fall?
Oblivion.
This moment is the only forever
I believe in
And I am here
Sssh
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Interesting. It took me a while to get used to your punctuation; the 1st two lines here...
"The world waltzes beneath us
I still,"
confuse me, because I'm not sure where yor stresses are. It's the same for the next two lines, here...
"Whilst you smooth my hair
Infancy."
I think a few artfully placed commas would allow your ideas here to flow more conversationally, and less abstract. I say this because the poem gets into a conversational rhythm, and works.
Some nice dreamscape imagary, surreal. like I said, interesting style, and the message;
"This moment is the only forever
I believe in"
is very good to me! I wrote something a while ago that said 'perhaps forever's measured in this moment?' in something called 'Depiction'
great minds think alike
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