You have died and are now resting in a bed
Filled to the feet with roses.
A life once lived with loving poses.
Shared reasons once before ...
With us by your side. It’s just another life
Without having to decide when death is to take o’r.
Until that time when it’s to come, and when for some
Chance you may not be there anymore
And your father is standing o’r
Your feet and cries for days over pain,
And your name
With roses, and poses in his own shaking hands,
Kissing them 'til each and every one of the petals dries
With wetness of his symphony sobs.
Do you the dead realize what your life before was to you?
For you were the best.
You had been the one who was looked up to
By your little sister Tonya, who had admired you.
All those lazy-dazy days you had spent with her down at the river
Dancing the splashes over each of your faces,
Laughing at the bugs that bit your arms over and over
By the two tree houses
That you, your sis, and brother built together
In your bare feet.
Those times life had seemed to stand still
With the fun and gamed smiles
You had when you boosted theirs up the ladder.
You hadn’t regretted any of it that sunny day
When the three of you came home muddied to your feet
And had to listen to I, your Mother’s yells and
Pleas to stay off the brand new carpet
your Father and I just put in five weeks earlier.
And yes ... I did send you to the bathtub,
Making you clean off both David and Tonya.
I couldn’t believe how you obeyed,
Picking them up in your arms and carrying them gently across the living room floor
With plastic bags tied to your feet so you wouldn’t get the floor dirty.
I remember hearing the water turning on; The sound of the water in my eyes …
And the picture I had in my ears of you getting them into the tub with ease.
‘Oh God!”
I couldn’t help it when my feet snuck over to the bathroom door, and peered in
At the three of you, splashing the water again on each other
As you did at the river memories ago.
My smile became big as yours did as I saw the soapsuds on your shoulders, and I
Almost couldn’t help from giving up my cover as
Your bother began standing on his head under the muddy water
Blowing bubbles out his nose!
You kids laughed, laughed, and laughed
For almost an hour on end,
And it wasn’t till you heard your father's voice come home
From his hard day of work at the construction yard
Across town by the flea market where we would go every Saturday morn
To buy the cheap materials that made our house into the reality we live
Each day, and to the day.
I remember how you kids slipped and scrambled from the tub
Sliding your way to the towel that hugged the wall under the mirror,
Which echoed the beauty in all three of you.
I slipped away from the door as you kids ran naked from bathroom
And to your fathers hugs and kisses,
Tonya’s goggles still on her face,
And you, Brian … your cleaned hands embraced the love you had for your Father the most.
Though now you have died, and are resting in that bed
Filled to the feet with roses
In front of your whole family.
Your life once lived before
With loving poses and
Shared reasons
With us by your side still.
Now remember …
It’s just another life
Without having to decide
When life is to take o’r.
Author notes
My best friend died in 1999, it wasn't on purpose, but I was there to see it. I tried to tale the love and inspirations, pain and emotional memories, from his Mother's point of view. I talked with his mother all the time afterwords till I left Colorado. I remember the one best memory she had, she told me about that day when her kids came home muddied to their feet.
Best friends are the best to have, even though he is not on planet earth, he is still in my heart.
So I wrote this poem yesterday, just to show that he is still around.
I was crying when I wrote this ... I miss him.
A contest entry
- Show me watcha Got!! by agalford7053.
600 points, ended June 1, 2007, 35 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Loss of a Friend by MeaningfulPoet482.
450 points, ended July 19, 2007, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Love You [show me your best] by thelovesongwriter.
800 points, ended July 29, 2007, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - give me your favourites (prewrites allowed). by aeolia.
500 points, ended July 29, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - No Rules by J L Whalen.
550 points, ended July 31, 2007, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Do you have emotions? by Forgotten Anomaly.
550 points, ended October 27, 182 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - In Loving Memory... by Timeless Wisdom.
22250 points, ended March 23, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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Another awe inspiring entry from you my friend. Just one thing to point out...the archaic term for "over" is actually spelled with the "e" still there...like this: "o'er". Other than that. nice write
~Raymond~
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This is very sad, I like the story you weaved into this of them in the bathtub. You did well telling this from the point of view of the mother, if you had not said otherwise you very well could have been the mother. The only thing I noticed was that in the beginning it seems a little repetative and that almost turned me away from the poem all together, otherwise it was an easy and sad read. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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I lived in Colorado for a time... the Colorado Springs area... what part were you in? Congrats on the two trophies.. this was a very emotional piece and I am sorry for your loss... seems like you've come a long way since 1999 though.
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Very Emotional
I am wiping my own tears now. I have lost many loved ones and this poem hit my weak spot. It was very moving and realistic. I am also a mother of a four year old and this was tough to read and I am sure it was very difficult to write. It was beautifully done and I enjoyed reading this piece.
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This is really a smiple piece but still having a sort of greatness to it to show memories peopel espically of people who are no longer on this earth with us. It extremely nice of you to write this about your friend. I sure it making him happy lookig down to see it. You defintely deserve all the awards you have gotten for this poem.
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wiping my tears..beautiful thankyou
wiping my tears, that was beautiful & Moving, his mother
would be so proud. I am a mother, and this touched me deeply. That took so much courage to write.
Touched by it. Christina Aguilara has a song called,
Hurt, you should listen to it sometime, she shares
the feelings of losing her loved one.
To comfort you..I believe that when we die, we have an
opportunity to tell of the love and adventures we shared
and lived once when we are alive here on this place
called "the now" and I can hear his words of laughter,
and loving memories speak in your poem straight out
his mouth, with your name upon them, he has written
up in heaven your name and sharing your living testament.
YOu cannot see all the angels up in heaven peek up over the clouds
to see YOU..to peek at this girl who gives so much joy to others now. Join his laughter to yours and remember
he is peeking too.
All my blessings to you!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen
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I liked this poem, very deep and emotional. I to have lost a friend. I like all the lines in this poem. I cried through this, remembering my friend too. great write, keep up the good work. Hope to see more of your writings. Again, great job
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That is so emotional and so well written. I was hooked from start to finish. After reading the authors notes it is also very poignant. Wonderful work.
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Amazing
It's amazing how such a simple memory can bring the most joy to a mother who misses her child. You really portrayed the feelings she would've been feeling at the time. I myself can't relate to this, but it was touching all the same. Great job!
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Heartbreakingly beautiful. Like many others, I found tears running down my face throughout reading this piece, especially as it reminded me of my friend who passed away two years ago. I also wrote a poem for him recently, but it could never, ever match up to this - though I'm sure he'd forgive me, as he knew I was never up to scratch on literary skills
a wonderful dedication to your friend. I know for a fact that wherever he is, he is extremely proud of you and this work of art.
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i can relate to this poem. i loved it. great flow, & everything else. I lost my grandma in cancer and it was hard for me too. great job & thanks for entering
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This is a long poem and it's beautiful all the same. The story behind it is so touching. I'm sorry about your loss.
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i realy know what u meann my frind got over dosed, and he ended up shotting himself at a party about a month ago, i was there,, he was my everything,, this poem broguth e back to that day, that hour,, thank you,, it was a beautiul poem,, thank u for sharing... it was grrat
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this was really emotional, so very touching and sad. you did a really great job at showing the world how much of an impact your friend made and how special he was. really good write.
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I hate to say it but I teared up a little. I felt the pain in every line, this is really beautiful and I'm sorry for your loss.
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Wow...
Beauty shown in Sadness. This was amazing and very well penned about your friend. Time is of the Essence and you will heal soon. Never forget, but move on in your waking like witht he family. So much love shown, Ive said, You be Blessed and keep writing, it relieves the mind of a lot of things.
Ephiphany
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This was so beautiful and sad it made me feel the pain that clearly went through you when you wrote this piece. It was a bit tough to read and I had to read some parts twice or even three times before I caught the rhythm again, but the story behind the words was so strong that I don't mind at all. I could see the scene in the bathroom before my eyes and it almost brought tears to my face.
A very good write
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Very nice piece well written with lots of Love although sad. I wish you well in the Contest
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Such a sad piece... I can feel your sorrow, but just be glad your friend isn't in pain anymore (whether it be self inflicted or any other pain). Just be pleased for that and know they wouldn't want you to be upset but to move on and be happy, as friends hate to see their friends hurt, no matter what. If you ever need to talk, message me. ♥
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sob
Wow this was so good. I actually thought you were the mother at first. My heart kept squeezing inside my chest and I just wanted to bawl. I lost a friend here a couple of months ago to a wreck and it hurts every day. But putting it from a mothers point of view makes it worse. The imagery just added to the greatness of it all. I couldn't have wrote something better myself. Thought both of our friends are gone they'll be with us in our hearts forever. And that't the way it should always be.
God Bless
Ashley
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I liked it
It does tend to lose the reader, but I think its cause how complex the level you made it. It makes me think of my own childhood running around afoot~ in barefeet and all! Overall I think you put a lot of heart and emotion into this piece good job! Good luck in the contest! -
it was so sad but i loved it
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Impressive
this is great! my eyes filled up with tears, while i was reading it....this poem attracted my attention b/c today is 3years for one of my friends... only her death, sadly, was on purpose.......Good luck in the contest!
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Sweet memories, to bad I’m old and of mine is fades, good write!
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This was certaintly a good poem, though a little hard to catch onto for the first few lines, it draws you into the story almost as if you were watching it all happen, and then only draws you in deeper and deeper as you read forth. It takes awhile to find out the perspective is the mothers and not a narrators, but it is a really great poem, i especially like how it's written rather like a story.
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This was quite confusing, because I didn't really know who you were talking about, and rather hard to read because of the huge blocks of text, but all the same I found myself drawn into the story.
Thankyou for entering and good luck in my contest.
Katie -
simply breathtaking, but not so simple. You captured the images perfectly and I was convinced you WERE his mother. Your repitition is wonderful, with the poses and roses, and the end and the begining. You do your friend justice. And I am proud to have read this piece.
SeanO -
WOW
This was so amazing, so effective, and so clearly heartfelt. You created such a believable voice in this piece...and the images! I have lost some of my favorite people in this world, and your poem certainly speaks to me. I am sorry about your loss, but I'm very glad you have written this to keep the memory of your fiend alive. -
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Thank you
Thank you. That means allot.
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If I wasn't already crying over my allergies, I would've been just by reading this. The emotion you packed into this piece is astounding, hitting anyone who reads to the deepest recesses of one's heart. Brings back memories of those I've lost and watched die (some purposely, others not). And the fact that you wrote it from his mother's perspective gives it even more meaning, I think. And that memory with the muddy feet, a great thing to add to your piece. Very nicely done.
Sweetest of dreams! ~D -
NICE WAY TO EXPRESS YOURSELF.MAY GOD BE WITH YOU.HOPE YOU CAN GET OVER THE PAIN.
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I am sorry for your loss. I loved this poem. It was a very good write. I am sure he watches over you from above.
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um. wow much?
Oh, god. This is so powerful and equisitely, beautifully dark. I can relate so much..it brought me to tears. Wow. Just amazing.
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^_^
Tears are raining down my face as I write this comment. This poem is so beautifully sad. I love the repetition of
"It’s just another life
Without having to decide
When life/death is to take o’r."
Just wonderful.
hugs,
Steph
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