When HE called,
you had to go
you had no choice
where you traveled
wasn't up to you any more
When you heard your name
you could not stay
although you were
from home many miles away
At two fifteen in the morn
your sister heard
the sound of a truck's horn
This awoke her from
a sound sleep for reasons
she knew not why
but she began to cry
At four thirty am i
received a call
that caused me to
my knees to fall
It was the company where
my husband worked
my hands began to shake
before i picked up the phone, i thought
why would they call
I hoped and prayed nothing's wrong
i picked it up
said nothing at all
the voice on the other end
started to talk
This is ___ from __ i have
some bad news
there's been a bad accident
neither your husband nor
his partner made it through
The worst that i can
say about going through
that day
I only wish they had
told me of my husband's
death standing
looking at me
face to face!!!!!!!!
Author notes
6/03/09 contest entry "what makes you cry"
new poem for contest: "I'll receive happy and content life"
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1/15/08 contest entry "The day that changed my life!"
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Memorial Day tribute to Arthur Ashton, Jr. May 25, 2007
died Oct. 19, 1977
In memory of the best husband, father, son, neighbor and friend that ever came into my life!!! He was also a veteran who serve in the US Air Force!!!
I love you Art and nothing will ever change that!
picture contest!!!!
True happening of the day my husband died!!
In a list
A contest entry
- I want the best poems!!!!!!!!! by heartofpainfultears.
450 points, ended April 26, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Truth Of Death 3: Anything Goes by Claudia Incognito.
300 points, ended August 26, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pick a TITLE and write.. Very simple!! by Angierie.
700 points, ended February 23, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What makes you cry? by Forgotten Anomaly.
900 points, ended June 16, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
let me know how you like the poem
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is a very emotional poem and I hate to critique a poem like this but I did notice a few things. You need to capitalize your I's when refuring to one's self, Also your wording is a bit off as though you were struggling to keep up the meter which you were using. There are also a few errors like the use of dead instead of death and some typos. I am sorry for your loss and you have probably heard that a thousand times, but they had no right to tell you something like that over the phone. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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Thank you for your comment on my poem. Thank you for catching "dead". It has been changed to "death". If you are not familiar with my work then you wouldn't know that I have a few trademarks. One of them is using i instead of I on purpose in certain pieces for personal reasons. I took the poem back through spell check and couldn't find those typos you mentioned. Please tell me where they are so I can change them. The wording is not off and I never struggle to keep up the meter of any of my work. The words simply come into my head and then to print. I agree that my style of writing is not to everyone's liking but as you get more familiar with my work you'll see, I write from the heart. If I change my poems because of others' suggestions or to the way others like it, then it would no longer my work. Don't you agree?
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This one really makes a statement. well done.
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Wow. Amazing.
Thanks for entering
Angie -
wow. This was really intense. I didn't fully understand it until the end, and then I read it again. I think you should read my poem "Paper." I found out that my dad died at around 4:00 PM, it's funny how we remember the exact time our lives stop and our worlds change. And you know what? You should have every right to be angry at that company! I mean, how stupid can someone be to just call you to tell you that your life is forever changed?! How ignorant and naive?! Obviously that person has never been in love. Stupid idiot those people are. and I'm sorry for your loss, I really am... you probably get that a lot and I'm sure it annoys you to no end, I know that it annoys me when people say that they're sorry about my dad. It's something that happened so long ago but it has scared me forever and I don't think I will ever be able to get over or even through it at all. Time makes things a bit easier, but it doesn't erase the past or what others had done to you. But seriously, you should read my poem "Paper" and tell me what you think. This was a great poem with a lot of emotion.
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I love how you can take an event like that and turn it in a poetic form. My heart goes out to you! I saw a typo: his parter made it through. I guess parter meant to be partner? Great work!
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Emotionally charged!
To go through such trauma in life at such an early age must have been absolutely crushing...my heart goes out to you!...even though such a long time has passed since then...the memory remains...perhaps eased a little by the passing of time..yet still powerful and tragic...yet one day in the future..the pain and sadness will give way to happiness and laughter when you are reunited in heaven...this was a tribute to a love that has never been forgotten...thank you for sharing it!...Dan xx
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this is great. good luck
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