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A poem of poison and death

My world is a deep dark red stream of glistening blood.
Everything looks, explosive, frightening and deadly,
As if I am the only blood streaked sole-survivor,
Why am I so terribly frightened?

Is it because of the dark powdered stained canon sounding loudly,
And echoing only in my dark and broken mind;
And the pleas for life and screams of terror and rage so deathly mute?

Or, is it because you tore my happy heart within a bloodied furry and fist?
I mourn the constant blurry reminder of your sweet innocent presence.
I am merely fighting a battle for my slipping…dissipating state of mind and meaning.
I watched you sneak away like you were intoxicated by my poison…
Just like you were the lone soldier from the other side of a losing bloody battle.

Author notes

-Option #1
-Option 3 (Options--Please Enter)
-Poem 1...
I wrote this poem for someone who loved me...or I thought and it ended in a mess and I felt torn apart...now I am just picking up the pieces.
-Write about a single moment in your life that has impacted and changed you forever. It could be in either a positive or negative way. Write about both the event and how it's shaped you.
-Twisted love, true love gone wrong. Something got in the way of the whole happily ever after part.
-Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious 5

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • TheDemonEve
    September 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful diction and powerful emotion. This brings tears and a sick heartbeat. Very well written.

    Best of luck and thanks for entering!


  • LunaAmara
    September 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is so sad, and so full of emotion
    keep up the good work!
    good luck


  • alexandrathegreat
    August 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOw this is some creepy shit, thanks for entering it it packs more of a punch then the entries I got so far. wonderful and sick, Thank you for your entry it was a nice read, plus I loved the title.


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    August 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    a wonderful sad write which is entred in so many contests
    i am sorry if you feel this way and you should not or people care and are here
    i can relate to this feeling as i am sure many others can
    a wonderful write thankyou and best of luck


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    August 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very sad write here... I hope you don't always feel this miserable. I know how it feels to live in an apparent world that's always dark, but you have to hold hope nothing else to do but hold onto it.


  • Memoirs of a Girl
    August 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice vocabulary. I really like the imagery.
    Great write and thanks for entering!
    ~Memoirs


  • KnightOfTheRose gold member
    August 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very good I enjoyed this piece! Thank you so much for entering! Excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!!


    -Steve-


  • Ale E
    August 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting write. Thank you for entering. I wish you the best of luck in my contest.

    Always keep on writing.

    alexox


  • whiterabbit.
    August 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Goooood. I really like this. Nice write.


  • The Reapers Angel
    August 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I'm surprised this hasn't won any out of all the contests you entered it in.
    Good write, and good luck.
    I am a guest judge and will be informing the judge what I think.


  • opaqueangel
    August 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Great write and good luck in the contest.


  • Aroarathebloody
    August 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Nice work

    didn't hate it

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    August 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is an amazing write. My favorite lines are :
    I mourn the constant blurry reminder of your sweet innocent presence.
    I am merely fighting a battle for my slipping…dissipating state of mind and meaning.

    Thank you for your entry.


  • Dark Fire
    August 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    This is absolutely amazing! I love it! So much imagery and feeling it's as if I could reach out and touch them. You have great talent.

  • OurxBeginning
    May 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A lot of emotion is in this. I can't say that I relate, because I honestly do not. The imagery in this was done well. It's short but it gets to the point. Thank you for entering and good luck.


  • DemonChild
    May 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Well Done

    Well Done I like this one alot such agony of feeling.


  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    May 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your heartfelt entry, Josephine


  • XXBrunettexBarbieXX
    May 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    heya...this was a really great write and i really enjoyed reading this..i can relate to this and your words were strong, powerful and emotional as well..keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest

    ~Chrissy~


  • On Frail Wings.
    May 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is deep good luck


  • LovemeNHateme
    May 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    thank you for entering. this was verry good.

1 - 20 of 20