i longed to go,
to get away.
what used to be so great...
just seemed to fade away.
the excitement gone,
the thrill no more.
the dark was dominant,
the lights were doused.
as soon as i arrived,
everyone left.
and as i sat in the dark,
alone in the world,
i thought about how my life
might as well end.
weeping in misery,
sulking in my self pity,
i put the gun to my head.
but weapons as strong as that
were only emotionally existent.
in the real world,
that was a turning point.
i let go...released the pain
I was off to drink it away
still i lived on,
at least in a bodily sense
in my mind set, i was dead.
but how selfish would it be
to take my own life,
as well as many others?
nobody cares now-
they take me for granted
but when i'm gone they'll see
every day i'm tempted
to test their true love
but i remind myself again
that'll i'll face them
in another life...
life after death,
more realistically: death after life.
this death is full of pain and sorrow,
suffering and regret, remorse and pleading.
but one day i'm going to take that chance.
not right now, not later, but hopefully soon.
i'll meet them again. the traitors of my trust.
and as my last wish,
as they find me at my end,
i'll give them what they deserve...
Author notes
Again, I'm not suicidal. But when I get emotional, this is what comes out. So..I guess I'm not..idk lol.
opinions, please!?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I can't believe I didn't comment this one sooner.
I liked it. I understand your intent upon writing it. It helps to get everything out. I am not suicidal, but my thoughts can sometime be confused, and so I write. I'll admit that I have a dark past and lots of things I regret *this should not be the case seeing as I'm only 16, but it is* When you go around wearing a mask as I have, just to take the edge off and protect the ones you love every once in a while you have to tell what you are really feeling. Even if there is no chance on the green planet that you would ever act on them. Don't know if that made any sense or applies, but I'm just talking.
It was a good write. Once again, Good Job!
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Pretty good.
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diz is so cool well i am suicidal i rite suicide poems all da time i just need to put them here but is cuz i dont got time but anyways ur poem was awosome!!!
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Thanks
Thanks so much for reading my poem and I'm glad you liked it. I will return the favor. I'm sorry you're suicidal...I think it's ok to think about it to help you heal but if you do it will just be another regret on your long list of screw ups. I'm not saying you're a screw up, but if you feel the same way as I do sometimes, then you probably know what I'm talking about. xoxo
~write2breathe
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I like the end of the first stanza "the dark was dominant, the lights were doused." I also like the third stanza where you're talking about how misery and self pity are strong weapons that exist only emotionally and therefore you were just going to drink them away rather than kill yourself. pain is temporary, death is forever. I know what it feels like to want to test people and see how much they really care. though, should this poem still hold true, killing yourself wouldn't be the best idea. if you're dead, you never really see the end result. the question that arises in the final stanza is "what is it that they really do deserve?" do they deserve to be hurt as they hurt you, are things still and eye for an eye, or is it just that they deserve to see how bad it hurts when a person that you're suppose to care for and that is suppose to care for you is gone?
~ImperfectPerfection
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Thanks!
Thank you for reading and commenting on my poem. I'm not really suicidal but I write a lot of this type of poetry. I never really thought about that last stanza-I see what you mean. But did you feel like I left you hanging or like it was just a ending that didn't need to be ended to keep you thinking? I will fix it with some suggestions on how I could better the ending. xoxo~write2breathe -
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I like the ending the way that it is. It leaves you hanging, but in a good way. it kind of makes the reader step back and start asking questions about the piece, which means that it's going to stick out in their mind.
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Thanks..I was a little worried that I didn't explain how I felt about those people in the poem and so the readers wouldn't be able to figure out what I was trying to say.
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no, I definatly like it the way it is. it allows the reader to kind of fill in his or her own story or experiances. it brings a lot to the piece too.
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