I wish I could use the night sky
to sketch out your beautiful face.
I'd use the stars to paint eyes,
twinkling so bright,
and I'd paint your smile
with all of that extra space...
Then I could see you every minute,
know you'd be there everyday.
I wouldn't have to be lonely anymore.
Anytime I'd miss you,
I could just look up to the sky...
you would be there
smiling down on me,
watching over me
A contest entry
- The James Stuart Cook Memorial by Xox ILY xoX.
600 points, ended May 13, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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This is very lovely, it makes me feel warm. Beautiful write! Congratulations on the gold.
whisper
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MAKES YA FEEL GOOD...
This is so wonderful!.....and I'd paint your smile with all that extra space..... that is so perfectly placed.....any time I'd miss you, I could just look up to the sky....very Dylan... very Whitman.....very good!!! -
This is very cute and adorable write! So full of love and raw emotions..I like the way love and stars are related..it almost feels heavenly!!
Thanks for sharing!
hugs n kisses
preets
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This is a lovely tribute. I liked the use of description here Good luck in the contest
Pozo
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This is nice. It kind of reminds me of how ancient astrologers have "connected the dots" and painted pictures in the sky, with the stars, of gods and goddesses, etc. I love how you said you would make the smile with all that "extra space". That's a big smile!
Thank you for sharing this sweet, endearing poem. Best wishes in the contest!
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Very Good!
It just flowed!, and I know what you mean..., if I had someone, I ger loney with out them around, and especially when I have no one I get very loney and some times depressed! but anyways GREAT write, short but sweet, Good Job! I loved it
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beautiful
sometimes the sky is too empty
and stars are not enough
when we are down in gutter
there is this need for someone
watching over us
without
looking down on us
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This is beautiful and heartfelt. I really like the idea of painting someone in the sky, and this is so simple but so poignant.
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i liked this poem, it seemed so dreamlike, i could feel the emotion as i read, btw, thanx for the comment
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good write
sounds like a love poem, but it can also be for someone who lost someone
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That's a beautful image of sketching a lost one in the sky so they're with you all the time. I can definitely relate to that right now because one of my really good friends moved back to Japan yesterday and I'd love the idea.
This was well written and every word was beautiful and painted with memories.
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I like the idea of sketching a lost one with the sky or some other natural feature. Such a way to remember!
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I like this one. It was beautifully written. There's never enough time in the world to be with the one you love. I felt the emotion. Great write! Thanks for reading my poem for me. Love your comments...as always!
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Oh, how I love this
beautiful little
poem. You've taken
your pen and dipped
it into such sweetness,
Poetess...
Love, Lane
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what a beautiful sentiment. I think this is a wonderful tribute. I most enjoyed the lines...I'd paint your smile with all that extra space.
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aww this piece is so cute, so sweet! i can picture what you describe so easily. you didn't have to use a lot to produce such a vivid image and to express the emotion you feel for the one you miss. good write. i like it a lot!
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Such a beautiful idea and thought. The milky way could be his hair swept back across his face and the planets love spots (moles, angel kisses I don't even know what to call them anymore) showing theirs and his beauty.
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I wish I could sketch him at all so then I'd remember always his smile and eyes as the memories fade. Your words are full of love and beauty. Thank you for the wonderful read.
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I thought it was great. It made me think of everything I have ever lost and Thats what I think poetry is about, connecting yourself to the poem.
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You could tell it was from the heart, and I really enjoyed reading it, good luck in that contest!
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Aww this is so tender sweet. Felt like it was really from the heart.
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very nice. sweet read. nice job with writing this. enjoyed. well worth the read. good luck in the contest.
blu
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cute
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A very tender dedication to an obviously well loved person. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *
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Very heartfelt and to see such love would be the ultimate gift. Its not a picture painted nor a view within the sky its the loveing memories that brings that sparkle in your eyes . THEY ARE ALWAYS NEAR
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gorgeous
this is a really sweet poem, excellent imagery! i think everyone in love would understand exactly what you mean, you get the message across so well. great work!!
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Wow. This is exactly the words I'd love to say to my boyfriend. Really beautiful and so full of love. If only we could make that happen A truly lovely poem and a pleasure to read as I can really relate to it. Well done
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Elegance
There is an elegant simplicity to this writing that is most appealing. It has an understated sincerity and makes it seem as though these grand ideas can be reached. A artful and enjoyable poem...PK
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excellent dear i love it and thanks for entering!
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Astounding imagery, very imaginative. I could see the person's beautiful face as you sketched it into the sky. Very very beautiful, indeed. There were such sweet words in your poem. Thank you very much for entering and good luck.
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Wonderful
A sparkling way to remember someone. I really enjoyed this thouroughly.
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Beautiful!
WOW! this is so beautiful.
It has alot of imagery and feeling.
Everyone deserves a poem like this or needs someone to say these words to them.
Good Luck in the contest.
Keep up the good work.
~B~ -
there you go...
...this is so beautiful to read.
These are words I long to read. It's what I hope to find but seldom ever do. Words that comfort.... who's knows what soothes a soul on any given day.
If you don't mine I shall pin it to my page. I knew you were going to write something like this. I could feel it. It was so worth the wait.
Smiles to you, hope things go well,
Kj
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Moving
Wow mate this is lovely and the emotion is captured well -
Awesome
Definitly my kind of poem
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Aww..
This is a beautiful poem!
I love it.
Such great and wonderful ideas :
I wish I could use the night sky
to sketch out your beautiful face.
The imagery was amazing.
And at the end I awwed out loud, it was that sweet =]
Well done!!! This really is a fantastic poem.
Shade Of Glitter xX
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