See who I am beyond the obscuring tears
that paint the meadows of past.
My world is yet to turn mortal with fears
when this broken heart is recast.
My soul strolls without a vivid ending
with the wind of my soft sigh.
I’m trying to stand with these feet again
to find your last fading goodbye.
I cannot see the fleeting passage of time,
my eyes have closed shut,
boarded up by the visions of your smile.
The thorns are still uncut.
The tears are burning me from inside out,
caged by the lashes of time
that still show their nightmares of the truth;
they witnessed the old crime.
Let me open my eyes just for a moment,
to slip to the memory of you.
Before the sins were placed before me;
that is where this wind blew.
© Jay H.
April 25, 2007
Author notes
Sometimes, at some point in life, we find it hard to continue. If you find the person you loved cheating on you, but you couldn't let go of that love, what would that leave you with? The past. There is always the past. But from the cycles, it is the most dangerous one. Compared to the future and the present, it's fairly easier to get lost in the past. And that is what this poem is about. Being lost in the past of love.
------------------------------------------------------
Entry in the contest:
"I wan't to get lost in your eyes" by shattered logic
I used option #1 with this piece. The picture I used for inspiration can be found here:
http://static.flickr.com/52/109177971_60ba1d3145.jpg
A contest entry
- I wan't to get lost in your eyes by shattered logic.
440 points, ended May 13, 2007, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think - be as bold as you can; I don't break.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
wow wow wow!
this is definitely a wowzer! i love the words you've used here, they created such a huge impact! this is so deep and meaningful, and i like you AN too... very intense. amazing write. you deserve the silver!
-
-
It definately was a tough one to write and I'm glad that it turned out well. Thank you so much for your words and the comment; they mean the world to me!
-
-
Wow, this is very deep and emotionally charged piece, the imagery and the flow and the word choice were perfect. I don't have a favorite line or stanza because they were all great, i can almost see the picture when reading this, and your author comments match up with your piece. Good job and good luck!!!
-
-
I worked hard with this piece as I had some trouble with the rhyming so I'm very very happy to learn that it turned out well. Thank you for your kind words; they mean the world to me
-
-
I can feel this in my heart. Great job. Keep up the awesome work!
-
-
I'm very glad you like this piece. Thank you for your words; they mean a lot to me
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
