My soul set free to soar in lofty heights
I leave behind the shell of old belief
Unburden now my spirit from past plights
That darkened childlike soul with wrath and grief
Revisiting old systems on my quest
My teachers wish me well before they leave
Their work is done, I leave their presence blessed
While, one by one, my soul-parts I retrieve
I'm healed from times of old, the path is gone
The past has merged with present moment's grace
My gaze is peaceful while it rests upon
The mystery contained in timeless space
With joy, I leave behind the thorny road
My soul installed in freedom’s sweet abode
Author notes
watch the video :
http://s247.photobucket.com/albums/gg123/poetmaa/?action=view¤t=21soulretrieval.flv
my constantly updated video-poetry :
http://allpoetry.com/poem/show/3791503
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In a list
A contest entry
- Sonnets, sonnets, and more sonnets by RatherImaginative.
1925 points, ended September 8, 2007, 42 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Flawless meter! The sonnet's message flowed together so seamlessly that it was quite impossible for me to pick one part of it the spoke to me deeper than the rest. Instead, it spoke to me as a whole. It brings to mind remembrances of Dr. Seuss's book "Oh, the Places You'll Go!" with its coming-of-age themes (and that "age" need not be literal). Thanks so much for entering my contest!
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thank you so much for the most appreciated bronze trophy and points in your contest ... it means a lot to me ...
all the best,
maa
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Had to return. Did you realize all 3 of your sonnets made the preliminaries? Wow!!!! You go, gurl!! hahaha ♥
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Indeed, a lovely sonnet, dearest maa, laced with spiritual gems of wisdom, haloed in a peaceful aura. Thank you for pointing me to this contest. My sister is always looking out for me. Luv ya, Annabelle
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I question the dactyl in line 1, but other than that a well done sonnet. Lovely theme.
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thank you for your constructive suggestion ...
indeed, I seem to have blindly relied on the french pronunciation of "vertIGE", thus the metric error ... which has been corrected now
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line 1 and line 3 have been revised ...
maa
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The revisions give me a better insight into the theme of this poem. Good editing.
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wonderful
An impeccably penned sonnet with a very valuable underlying message. You really have a wonderful talent and spirit. Best of luck in the contest.
David Michaels
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Perfection as always, dear sister
You write with beauty and perfect form these words of grace. I am blessed to read the joy you place before me here. Thank you ofr sharing.
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into the heart of the soul
Language is key for us to see
What of me is yet to be
Will I fly up in the sky
Or will I fry whenever I die
Whichever way, God will say
Where I stay on Judgement Day
I don't know where I'll go
Burn awful slow? Hope not, though
In my view this is not true
I tell you it's a Language Brew
--Ellis
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Beautiful and proffesional
Being affected by the past, and becoming or choosing which person one should be according to his desires or according to the things he views as good and bad -- mostly according to charcater, is realy a puzzling issue, and a provocative matter which I have wrote and still am writing about.
This remores, guilt-filled speech of (what have I become) thing..
It realy describes me right in these moments which I breath in.
Sorry for my rambling, it's a beautiful sonnet.
RD.
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This is quite beautiful and has such a depth of wisdom and meaning. To move forward through the past to the now with that 'joy' and the freedom is a joy and this was such an inspiration through its journey portrayed, here. Good Luck to you in the contest and all the best to you~
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excellent message
Dear one, such a great message of "leaving the dead to bury the dead". We can waste so much time and energy on the past, but what is needful in life is here and now.
Aside from one thing I mentioned, "redeem" is seldom used as a noun - that is redemption.
Your third quatrain and the couplet are outstanding in form and wisdom. Best of luck!
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