You see now.
Are your eyes opened?
I never imagined the way it happened,
But I secretly suspected this
Life would not contain
Your pixie smile and
Your wild ass ways.
Before I heard,
I sensed the soft whisper
Of your soul as it left this plane.
I shivered silently and
Marked it up to
Dampness,
Or
Imagination.
And then,
She called.
And quietly,
I cried.
I know heaven must be full of your laughter,
Your boisterous spirit
Must be shaking up the "underworld".
Because now you KNOW.
You MUST know.
Don't you?
Author notes
My student, my daughter's friend, Miguel... Rest in Peace, buddy. Tell Johnny Tarr hello.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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this is a good write. I am sorry for your loss.
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it's unfortunate that such a young life was taken, but i'm sure he'd be happy to know that he left a mark upon your heart and soul. I like the images of that inner connection because it emphasizes how extreme the loss was without saying so blatantly. the beginning lines and the ending lines are a little unclear to me, but that doesn't really matter because you wrote it for him, just thought i'd let you know. good work!
-angel -
Incredibly touching work. It is alway hard to see a young life cut short. Sometimes I wonder if life throws these tragedies our way just to open our eyes a little bit. This piece really brings home the things we wish we could say to those who have left us.
"I know heaven must be full of your laughter,
Your boisterous spirit
Must be shaking up the "underworld"."
This stanza really stands out to me. It mirrors the feelings I had when a friend of mine was killed by a drunk driver at the tender age of 20. My deepest sympathies for your families loss.
Much Love
Ben -
Hope you win.
This braught tears to my eyes. And you have my condolences. It is hard to loose someone you are fond of... and sometimes it is impossible to control what you thought wasn't going to happen. I know when my dad passed away, my great grandfather couldn't stop crying.. nor my Gram.... and so many friends came around and it is just sad times, but I figured one thing out... That no matter what you just got to keep living on... And it is hard... but angelic wings can lighten the burden... Just say your prayers and talk to nothing and it all ends up okay in the end I guess... but don't worry... we will all meet up again one day... So this poem was a great donation to Miguel. Good job.
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Very Good
I like this
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awesome!! I read it and it gave me the chills. I loved it, great respect and virtue!
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beautiful! gave me goosebumps. I loved every word of every line. this was really nice. I'm not sure what else to say...thank you very much for sharing it. peace and light, Kendal
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This is good, actually, but I wondered about the word, "underworld." Uh, you're not saying this poor kid is in hell, are you? If not, you might want to put the word "underworld" in quotes, to show the reader that you are being sarcastic. (p.s. Miguel was a good-looking kid. If his personality matched his appearance - and I'm sure it did, otherwise why the poem? - then I am sure he will be missed, and I wish you nothing but the best and I am very sorry for your loss. Sincerely - ocerus
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Thanks...I did add the quotation marks. He loved mythology you see...guess I should have said it differently. He will truly be missed.
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that's so sad. i'm sorry. but it was a beautiful write. much love.
--Rianna
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