Looking in her face it was plain to me
I didn’t have to be a master to recognize agony
Swirling winds wisp and float adrift
Through echoes of memories, she tries to sift
Hollowed out like a vacant lot,
She dons ‘reminiscing-glasses’ to view her spot
Laden with emotions so heavy to bear
Tick-tock—GONG! Then she breaks the stare
Ascending the stairs, her hands in her hair
With her diamond-determination penetrating the air
Instinctively she acts, rising above her ‘woes’
To her, mountains of gratitude mankind owes
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Great stuff, RW. What an amazing woman you have painted in words, my friend. This shows not only a respect for a woman's sense of duty, but a deep reverence for her selflessness. I love this! "Diamond" determination...rock solid and stalwart, but exquisitely beautiful...what an incredible expression!
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wow...how did you find this relic? LOL...just kidding 10. Thank you tons for this fabulous comment here. I am very impressed that you dug deep in my archives (or cheated and pulled from my lists..haha). Either way, I owe you a debt of gratitude for it. Such fine wording you stuck in this comment that I thought they were writtten here by accident....haha.
AsIThink... -
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You nut! Of course it was on purpose! Actually I was just re-reading and thinking I should have mentioned the great title. I love that word "fixed" in relation to that diamond aspect. And... "in the moment"... we see her anticipating this task she has ahead at this set time and it is like she is made for it... and she is. She determines the moment... it does not determine her!
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LOL...cute. In that case, for comments done on purpose, I reward you: "Diamond Determination" status...since you're determined to speak your mind...hahaha. Naaah, just kidding. Thanks a million (bugs) - lol. What a wonderful way to bring all of that stuff together (now: if only I was thinking that when I came up with the title...).
As...
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This is truly a magnificent and intriguing write. I loved the imagery and the flow of your words. Always a pleasure.
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Thank you for finding this buried piece. I wrote it a couple of years ago. I was (and still am) so new to writing poetry (or trying anyway). This was not very long after I joined AP (could be one of my first I think???). Anyway, I'm glad that you found something to love about this. I really appreciate all that you had to say here.
AsIThink... -
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Okay, so that's how you know it was inspired. Sometimes your poetic genius just comes through... you are intune with your inspiration. Often I will write something, and it is only AFTER I read back through that I realize the depths of what I have written. That's inspiration, mister... get used to it!
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I think the line diamond determination is great, you can just see the steeliness of her attitude, great characterization. I think this is your first piece, I did this deliberately because in your note you say you didn't like poetry at first, so I looked at your beginning and I must say it shows a lot of talent, esp the rhyming.
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celadia, what a very remarkable thing for you to do. Thank you so much for it. Your compliments are refreshing; your diligence and interest in my work is intriguing and your support is so appreciated.
Yes, this was my first piece online. I had others, but thought I should post this one. I had been only writing on my pc and saving the work initially. Next, I wrote and posted some work at "poetry.com" and a few months later I heard of this site. I moved most (if not all) of my work from poetry.com to here.
AsIThink...
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Each verse is a treat.
Something sweet is there, whatever it is,
it melts me all over like butter.
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Thank you very much for this reading. This is one of the first pieces I posted here at AP. I had all but forgotten about this one...thanks for resurfacing it. Glad that you liked it.
AsIThink... -
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you're welcom AsIThink
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"Through echoes of memories, she tries to sift"
Emotions can trigger so many memories ... some carry a heavy weight, and some of unbounded joy. But women are resilient creatures and have strength that often goes unnoticed ...
"Ascending the stairs, her hands in her hair
With her diamond-determination penetrating the air
Instinctively she acts, rising above her ‘woes’
To her, mountains of gratitude mankind owes"
A wonderful tribute to women's ability to persevere, to rise above ... and a great write!
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And this is a wonderful, satisfying comment. I was thirsty...but this just about did it for me (smiling). Thank you very, very much for these kind words. Yeah, I had to do this; my mothers a women (lol)...
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I'm fixed...
...like a twix, that's well known for being twisted, cause the pieces i missed, was penned by one truly gifted! I LOVE THIS PIECE!
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Very good. Keep up the good work.
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Thanx!
I appreciate your kind words and the encouragement. Have you posted anything here? Guess I should check, huh?
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This is so good. you are indeed very talent this awesome
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Wow this is great!
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I don't know if my first message reached you. Anyway, I said thanks a lot. You gave me my first "on-line" comment.
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