Dawn
Moves in;
Banished night
hides in my Heart
No more soft shadows
All is sun-washed and spun gold
you gave me your heart to hold
when you turned my way
This feeling lives
its own life
on love's
breath.
A contest entry
- *~ Poetry Formed V ~* by Arkbear.
400 points, ended April 26, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Very nice entry ~
Perfect syllable count ~
Grammatical choices are well chosen ~
However, the aesthetic appeal of this Form is
a big down-fall for this entry ~
The Arkquain is meant to have beauty laced throughout...
...and I felt as if you could have tweeked this form just a bit to make this
entry worthy of perfection ~
The other critique I have is your punctuation placement ~
Other than that, a very nice entry ~
( 2.3 pts. deduction )
Thank you for taking the time to enter and the
pride you took with this new Form ~
Bear ~
-
Thank you for your review ~
Thank you so much for your entry ~
I will review your entry for certain criteria
expected from this contest ~
I will review syllable count just once,
AND, if there is/are any line/s missing a syllable/s,
I will let you know only ONCE!
I am looking forward to reviewing your entry ~
However, reviews will NOT take place until
closing of this contest, therefore,
I will not read the Theme or Storyline until that time ~
The best of luck to you in this contest!
Sincerely,
Bear ~
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