I wandered lonely,
I wandered lost,
I wandered a winter,
Through sleet and frost.
I wandered day,
I wandered night,
I wandered through
The dimming light.
I wandered caught up
In a dream
Of long summer days,
Strawberries and cream
I wandered away,
Until my mind grew wings,
And left my body
To mortal things.
I wandered up,
I touched the sky,
Because finally,
It was my turn to die.
A contest entry
- Four years and counting.... by LionessK.
600 points, ended April 30, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Very good poem!
It reminds me very much of the poetry that I write! It seems to relate to a person's life. A lot of the time we are living with no sense of direction. But to realize, in the end, that death is our grand finale, the utimate goal. I like this poem because it shows that the mission of life was finally realized! Once again thanks for your critiques. I already have many poems written but in the developement of my next poems I will put most of the suggestion together to come up with the perfect poem. Wouldn't that be great? The perfect poem, a poem that everyone loves yet it has a little different meaning to all that reads it.
"BOO"
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Good
this is an awsome poem keep up the good work
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A feeling that so many can to relate to.. or have in the past. I think you did a nice job describing that.
Thank you for entering my contest.
~Kristy
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This is good. I think in places the pace or flow or whatever becomes a little sticky (the 'Of strawberries and cream' bit) but other than that this is good. well done m'dear xxx
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Yeah, I felt that too... but only after I'd posted it and I was too lazy to edit it. But you have inspired me, so it's changed... I might change it again though cos I odn't think it has the same affect now.
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I like it more now, it still has the same affect in my eyes, but I suppose you wanted to get the 'strawberries and cream' bit in, huh? you could just leave out the 'with' if you still wanted that, but in my opinion it's just great as it is
xxx
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