Ooze like blood slithers, in a drip like motion
Seeping passed dry and cracked,
saliva deprived lips
Absorbing into her inner mouth glands
Relishing in the tickled feeling
She lets out a whimper like croak
Her voice struggling to be heard
Through the cotton shoved down her throat
With her nails grinded away against the cement,
After such a brutal murder, she must feel some physical satisfaction.
She let's her small, deformed fingers
Sprawl across her own despicable body,
That not even her husband of 20 years would touch.
She allows his blood to drip down over her,
Showering her...such a cleansing experience.
Crimson sticking to her, like a second coat of skin
As it pours, enveloping her.
Bathing, washing her once silk like blonde hair,
She opens her lips to taste her lover's pathetic life.
With dark, peering holes for eyes,
She watches as his body hangs over her, nailed neatly to the ceiling.
Who ever thought she would be capable of such a thing?
Smiling and twirling around
Like dancing in the rain,
She relieves her self with this pleasure.
His rejection couldn't stop her from living,
His cruelty couldn't stop her from being happy;
...His absense couldnt stop her from taking revenge into her own hands...
Author notes
My screen name is Bleeding Eternal
ZERO
A contest entry
- All The Vengence We Seek by Marc-Andrews.
319 points, ended June 26, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Thoughts, Dark Words by CassidyEngle.
300 points, ended June 22, 2007, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Vs. Light I by Austere.
900 points, ended September 15, 2007, 40 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me Your BEST. dare enter? by Audie-Is-Healed.
320 points, ended September 7, 2007, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Scare Me! by Du-B Peng-N.
450 points, ended October 11, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and EveRything! by Poetic Obscenity.
450 points, ended January 6, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark poems by Stormy Days.
300 points, ended January 24, 2008, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Eye's of Madness by Synthetic-Nightmare.
1300 points, ended March 18, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark, Heartless thoughts! by darkstinger.
450 points, ended June 23, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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That was something I've never read before, something that has left me in awe...wow!!! Holy shit. Thanks for writing.
Ray
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very very good wirte
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wow...... creepy.... awesome... lol
This was greatly written.. like reading a story. it really takes the reader in and just absorbs them...
thank you so much for entering my contest and good luck,
~lumin -
O.O
WOW!
I'VE DEFINITELY READ THIS ONE BEFORE,
and that haunting image was forever etched into my psyche
KUDOS ON THIS AMAZING PIECE!
i really love it.....
thanks so much for your entry
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i really liked this on it was great good luck
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ha ha well good!!
goodluck with the contest.
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dark wow this is going to give me nightmares and I am blaming them on u
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AMAZING, omg. AMAZING. As i read this, i couldn't stop smiling..and licking my lips as they dried
I love it!!
Gorgasmic to the core.
It reminds me of hostel two really.
The imagery was to die for. =D
Descriptions were amazing. GREAT JOB
Thank you for entering the conteset and Good luck -
Loving it!
I love the way you describe everything in this, words like ooze, relishing, brutal, and despicable really brought this piece to life for me. My favorite line would have to be "Smiling and twirling around like dancing in the rain." Many times I've imagined what it would be like for blood to rain from the skies so I liked that line a lot. I do kind of agree with DancingShadowCorpse too though, you described everything well but using too many descriptors can bore me. Nonetheless, your going to the finalist list, so good luck.
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Awesome!!!
Wowzer, talk about imagery! Great amount of horror and gore going on, excellent!! Best of luck in the contest.
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Pretty good for the most part, but using so many description words for one thing kind of dragged it out to bore me. Thanks for entering!
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great imagery
The imagery as awesome but the flow seemed more like a short story than a poem. But in gewneral the piece fit the contest well. Thanks gfor entering and good luck. -
AAHAHAHA!!!
YES!
This is exactly what I wanted,
GORE~!
Bloodshed~~~!!!
Brutallity...
Hahahaha...
Thankyou, thankyou.
This is a very good write.
~Raven
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This is just what I was lookign for
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I absolutely love this. It has the whole Elizabeth Bathory vibe to it...and she happens to be my favorite serial killer =]. I really liked the overall flow as well as image in this piece. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest
~~~Vampy~~~ -
Wow this is amazingly descriptive. I love the part where it says "She watches as his body hangs over her, nailed neatly to the ceiling.
Who ever thought she would be capable of such a thing?
Smiling and twirling around
Like dancing in the rain,"
It gives a sense of crazyness! This is an amazing piece of work!
Thanks for entering -
Wow...definitely full of heartfelt emotion and very, very dark...quite sad, really. Descriptive imagery, that certainly hits a chord with the reader. Thank you for entering the contest!
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wow this is an awesome piece of writing. you went so deep into the description of the murder, it was sickening..but beautiful at the same time. It flowed so smoothly and the depth of the emotion is really strong.
thanks for entering and goodlcuk -
this was a great write..and the saying revenge is sweet is so true..i really enjoyed reading this..your words were powerful and emotional as well keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest..
~Chrissy~ -
man this was a great write..i enjoyed reading this..your words were powerful, strong and emotional as well..also the flow was smooth keep writting your very talented
~Chrissy~ -
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thank you, I appreciate it greatly. I was a little apprehensive on the peice, since it is so dark and whatnot. But thank's! Glad u liked it.
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