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Whenever I See You

Whenever I see your happy face,
A tsunami occurs in my heart.
But it dies down in my heart,
Because there is someone behind your happiness.

Whenever I see you singing a song,
I listen carefully and hear no wrong.
The Atlantic Wind blocks my ear,
You are singing for him which I can't bear.

Whenever I see you blowing a flying kiss,
In my mind an earthquake occurs.
It stops when I remember,
Your kisses are for the other.

Love is love’s reward,
For loving you I should get that award.
In the love cyclone everything is messed up,
In loving you should I give up?

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 53 of 53

  • Blue-Rose Beauty
    1 day ago
    ?
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    Whenever I see your happy face,
    A tsunami occurs in my heart.

    Wow, lovely the imagery and metaphors of some natural disasters in this poem. It completed it nicely. <3

    7/10

    - Blue beauty


  • okadadokie
    July 15
    Edit | Reply
    Really super cute. Thanks for the write. Good luck.

    ~Oka


  • crivanea
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    wow..that was a lot of scrolling to reach this comment box.. ^_^...love this poem..the stanzas are nicely composed..thoughtful..and nicely crafted...i believe you speak very romantically..and your words have a good ring to it


  • tears.of.silence
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    This is really good. I felt that the first stanza was a little forced but afterwards, your poem became very well written. Great work. Thanks for entering the contest and best of luck to you. Kahy


  • hyper thing
    March 13
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    it is a great write


  • neenz
    October 30, 2008

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    I really like this last line - "In loving you should I give up?" Giving up is to admit failure - and I don't think I'm ready yet. Thank you for the entry!

    -N


  • slippingofftheedge
    August 8, 2008
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    nothings worse than loving someone when they don't love you back


  • ForgottenAngel
    August 8, 2008
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    lovely poem. love the overall poem but we need more feeling in the poem. let your heart out.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    February 14, 2008
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    This makes me feel sad


  • Cari Cullen
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    sad, dark, and very lonsom that's what I saw in this hmm this might cut it but I still have a lot to read best of wishes for the contset!


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great job here.
    This indeed was well penned and the flow was great,.
    best wishes to you in this contest.

    tory


  • LadyDementia gold member
    October 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    sad poem, good luck.


  • Shahrazad
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A very sweet love poem- You ended with a wonderful power at the end. Good work- thanks for entering this in the contest!


  • MelissahhMidnite
    September 23, 2007
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    It think its lovely how you used nature metaphors to explain what you felt. Lovely.


  • MelissahhMidnite
    September 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    It think its lovely how you used nature metaphors to explain what you felt. Lovely.


  • ExpectingMommy18
    September 17, 2007
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    wow this is a good poem and i see you have it entered in alot of contests...this must be very sad for you not being able to be with the one you love...my heart pours out to you i hope everything becomes alright for you....thank you for entering and good luck in the contest!!

  • raymondsgirl8708
    September 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for entering this is a great poem.


  • XXDarkness-DecayXX
    August 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    O nice write!


    xoxox


  • Beating gold member
    August 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh. Wow.
    I love this! It's so well worded and I truly felt with you. I wanted to start crying on your behalf, it's so amazing! Wow!


  • xDisloyal.Love.x
    August 2, 2007
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    please say what option. I think it should be i HEAR no wrong, instead of listen


  • crystallynnbradford
    July 26, 2007

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    Love the ending....that is the eternal question...to love or not to love?....such pain....thanks for entering and good luck in the contest

  • Raven Judge
    July 16, 2007

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    Heh. This piece is really a tribute to how the english language can be used to craft and create expression rather than just straight-forward communication. Your word-images are elementary and convey the intended pictures with a basic ease. The readers come away with an image of a man (?) who stands too close to a love transpiring between two others. How interesting, then, to consider this often overlooked caustic side-effect: jealousy. Of course, the most interesting part of this piece isn't the discussion of Shakespear's old green-eyed, but rather that you have managed to show a bit of the hero in the subject character (I assume yourself) without every debasing or discrediting love's rival. I find that to be especially well done and highly a-typical.

    Thank you for this entry.

    ~Das


  • The Hardest Goodbye
    June 29, 2007
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    oh my gosh. good luck in this contest of mine. loved it


  • Sweetangelgrace
    June 29, 2007

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    Sad but true. nice one! Its says everything in a very direct and poetic way...it made me picture the situation and feel the emotions..
    keep up the good work!

    ~~GRACE~~


  • The Hardest Goodbye
    June 19, 2007

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    I absolutley loved this poem it was awesome thanks for entering it in my contest and good luck!


  • Tali28
    June 16, 2007
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    Good write. I like it alot. You shouldn't give up though you should go after her. Just my opinion. Anyway, I like the details and the imagery I got while reading this piece. Good luck in the contest. Take care.
    Tali


  • Tali28
    June 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thanks

    Thanks for your entry. I will return after the contest has ended and give you my further thoughts.
    Tali

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    June 8, 2007

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    This is a very nice write thank you for shairng it with me and adding it to the contest. Best of luck to you


  • Venugopal gold member
    May 21, 2007

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    You admit very frankly sir, the inner feelings. Instead of hypocracy the psychic convulsions you went through are beautifully described sir..All the best wishes


  • Regretlove
    May 15, 2007
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    Sad.. I really felt your words. Great job!

  • Leaving Today
    April 28, 2007

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    This is my personal opinion; most of the time your love poems take an exceptional height (I found it in your book Songs of Silence too). Now this piece also flowed very well, diction and way of presenting were strong. I liked it.


  • Bruised.Roses
    April 26, 2007

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    this was a great write..it flowed really well and the ending was my favorite part..it was really powerful and emotional as well keep writting your very talented and good luck in the contest

    XTashaX


  • Shapla
    April 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    "Whenever I see your happy face,
    A tsunami occurs in my heart.
    But it dies down in my heart,
    Cause there is someone behind your happiness."

    These lines are very very expressive....an entire story is told with these few lines. The words tsunami, earthquake, Atlantic wind are very beautifully used.


  • Kristin Melissa
    April 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love this it's a really cute poem.... Good Job... Good luck in the contest
    ~*~ Mystic

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