Banned to
a box
in sadness and shame;
ridiculed ruins
of what
I became.
Author notes
Self explanatory.
Image found at deviantART.com
In a list
A contest entry
- 15 words or less by DancingRed.
300 points, ended April 27, 2007, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - so pretty much anything by Last Pixie.
300 points, ended June 11, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short and Sweet by deathbyfrootloopsxx.
800 points, ended June 25, 2007, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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You have a lot of wonderful descriptive imagery in this piece, and a lot of poetic devices that really enhance the beauty of your words. I could almost see this as the first lines of a tragic rock song. The mood of helplessness is there throughout the entire poem and really emphasized through the picture. Beautiful job.
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oooo wonderful. this definately is...well..its like a life lesson poem. wonderful write. finalist.
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Wow what a write and picture. It doesn't get much more serious then this.. Ridiculed indeed. Congrats on the gold and thanks for sharing another awesome write Lori.
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One two punch of reality
When I frist saw the picture I was like wow..
and then I went on to read your words, and the reality of how life can be slapped me in the face,
a very powerful write of words. sigh..
Thanks for sharing,
warm thoughts
Frozentearz
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This was so intense! Excellent work from you as usual. Brevity and talent equal excellence
as always, my pleasure. ~Tia
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ohhhhhhh i really like the pic that you used at top of your picture it was very nice and the poem you wrote was very powerful as well keep writting your very talented
~Chrissy~ -
Oy!
Powerful piece penned my Friend
I had to keep one eye open as I read for those words were hurtful to read
Even though just a picture...words are Powerful!
Thank You for sharing this!!
Best wishes to You in the contest!
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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WOW, such raw power dripping from your stylus dear friend! A perfect depiction of this pic. Not that we often see less than excellent from you, hehe, but still, a wonderful piece! Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *
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each word is so powerful and hits too close to home for many. very well done.
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Great write!
So much said in so few powefully chosen words!! You are an amazing talent Sis!! I always look forward to reading your work!! Best of luck on this piece!!
Shannon
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Wow ~
Heavily saturated with a deep
and drowning message
of so many truths ~
Well done Lori ~
I hope it places ~
Bear ~
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Oh that is a disturbing picture but you poem compliments it so well. Such a lot said in such a few words. It has a real puch to the guts fel about it. Well done my dear aunt on another wonderful piece of writing.
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This is a great write. Very few words, but they have great depth. Very nicely done. I wish you the best in the contest.
Sam
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I agree with your author notes; this piece is very self explanatory. The emotions are powerfully expressed, and I simply love the alliteration you've used. Thanks for entering this great short poem!
DancingRed.
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Nicely done. How often this is the way we feel in life. Boxed in due to the views of others. No freedom to be oneself without the high price it brings.
Lovely metaphor and so much meaning in few words.
Best!
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oops forgot these
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Definately, we all put tags on people, some stick and some don't, some people should stay in their box and some are unfairly judged. Nice write Love, C
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