Blood
flows through my
cold heart, slowly it
warms my soul into waking
from its loveless deadly slumber it
pulls me back to a heartless
life I dont cherish
so full of
pain
Pain
gives me life
it shines through the hate
with its burning tainted light
I am able to live, and focus
as the cold seeps in again;
Yet often the pain,
it leads to
blood
Author notes
I rawk the box of notes {2}
A contest entry
- Something Different by Welcome-To-Hell.
875 points, ended May 9, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emo by Atrophya.
500 points, ended May 10, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - If dying were so easy, why dont you try by ObliviousReality.
600 points, ended May 13, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Nice, interesting form to it. Thank you for entering, and good luck!*I know this is a real downfall in comments, but I've read like a lot. So send me a message, just saying comment, and I'll come and recomment. I don't think it's fair with "interesting form."* Still, thank you again for entering!
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I return! Ok. Well, this has a rather interesting form. How both stanza's start with the oppisite word they end with. Blood to pain and pain to blood. I enjoyed reading it. I really enjoyed the first stanza. How it expresses the waking from a slumber to a life uncherished of pain. And the second stanza, very interesting. The pain leads life. Very good. Thank you for entering, and good luck!
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nice. i like this poem quite alot.
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thanks
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Hello. I like the form of this poem, the way the beginning and end words tie together. It appears you're in a contest and that may be the qualifications of it, but at any rate it's very interesting. I also like how you describe something very common without being blatant; it makes the poem more interesting than if you had just said what you were talking about.
I like the first stanza best; the description is good. I think you may have a typo with "cheerish" needing to be "cherish"...?
Anyway, interesting poem!
-Meagan
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Stanza 2 line 4 is 1 syllable short and it needs centered but other then that this was excellently written well done
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how do i centre it and is stained 1 or 2 sylables
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stained is 1 syllable and theres a box at the end of edit before you submit that can either be left or center change it to center
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