FALLING
Distrusting of bones
The art of a skeleton is only realized
in the presence of
eyes.
Air absorbed into metal configurations
where Love's soul is warped
into video projector
Headphones with no string.
I scribbled my heart on a piece of purple paper
The pages that are found in a magical book
Recession into last year's signature.
The name is being signed before me backwards.
Red boxes of plastic macabre hold
the intent of my heart.
I built you a letter
A single sentence
end with period
My eyes change to blue
You almost saw
Done
Fin
You forgot to say goodbye
My only solace was the last memory
when every tree was just one leaf
red. gold. yellow.
And even the ones I could not see.
I still found their color
My own promise
Promise
Promise
I'm sorry
but the connection
I knew
when I drew that heart
I felt, but the room was locked
the reality that separates the the alignment of our eyes.
They found children in my notes
The poem everyone hates.
She named the doll after you
I could not get back through the door
"I stand by what I say"
I do.
We must not think of that
like every song in high school
Your face is reflected
in every pink star button
I thought of you when...
I though of you when...
But I never told you because
literary critics are always accusing me
of unnecessary repetition
kcehc lleps
popscicle is under the water
There is no joke on the stick
only the picture I lost.
Pretend
In
Life
I
Speak
The
Truth.
Author notes
The title says it all: sorrow.
A contest entry
- The Mediocre Against Mediocrity by laughingstock.
450 points, ended May 19, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
good
This is a very tricky piece of poetry to absorb. Because I started reading it as literal interpretation and then I tried metaphorical interpretation and then I tried both. And that boggles the mind to do both, but it finally made sense.
I like poetry that comes out like this. Because this is not just venting. This is when the mind is at it's most vulnerable. And things that don't make sense to the reader make perfect sense to the writer. And that's not always a good thing in poetry. But I've done this type of free verse before as well. And you sit down and write and you end realizing that it's a great deal further away from where you've come from.
I didn't like the random capitalization and random punctuation. But I understand why it is that way. I like it when people play around with words, so I liked "kcehc lleps"
This is obviously about heartbreak and obviously about bad heartbreak, and I think that you can only write something as slow moving and enticing when talking about heartbreak. So I must say that this is a decent piece of writing.
There is A LOT in this poem. And honestly I don't know how anybody but the writer could understand it all. Because it seems there are a lot of inbetween-the-line thoughts. And I think that's okay. And parts of this are completely relatable to everybody. So well done.
thanks for entering my contest. good luck
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